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SIXTEEN
Raya
I wassurprised Cole agreed to help me out in the office after he was done with the chores, and I was glad he did. I needed to talk to him, and after letting the entire week go by with the two of us all but dancing around each other, I decided I’d had enough.
We had to get the elephant in the room out of the way.
I didn’t want to talk to him about what was going on in front of anyone, however, so I felt it was best to wait until the end of the week when most of the staff members would be heading home on the early side. Most of the staff working at the facility left an hour or two early on Fridays, leaving the evening chores for those who enjoyed them.
Usually me, but last Friday as well as today, I had Cole there to do it.
The day he started the job I let him know he didn’t have to stay later to tend to the horses after his shift if he didn’t wish to, but he was adamant he would see the job the entire way through.
“It’s what you’re paying me for,” he said. “And I’m not going to shirk my duty at the end of the week just because you’re willing to let me go a little early.”
“I just know you’ve got that drive,” I told him. “I don’t want to keep you any extra if you’ve got to drive a couple hours to get back to your place.”
“Again, it’s kind of you to offer, but I’m telling you right now that I’m happy doing my job to completion. And that’s what I’m going to do,” he’d insisted. So, I let the matter slide and let him be the one to finish out the week with the horses.
But, with him having to stay later to feed the horses before going home, I was sure he’d insist he had to get back to his own place as soon as he was done with his routine, and I would have to handle my problem myself. So, when he said he’d give me a hand after all, I felt that was a good sign.
It told me he was willing to at least stick around enough for me to talk to him, and I felt that was necessary. I didn’t want there to be that strange tension between us. Not when he was going to be here for another couple weeks. The sooner we were able to clear the air, the better.
We headed into the office and started unloading the packages, making some small talk as we did, but for the most part just unpacking the flyers. I wasn’t sure how to approach the topic with him, wondering if he was going to be the one to bring it up first. Surely he had to know that there was something there between us now.
And I didn’t want it there. Not that I felt it was my job to make him feel comfortable around me after he was the one who had tried to kiss me, but still. I felt that we ought to at least talk about it so he knew I wasn’t upset about what happened, and I wasn’t going to hold it against him. It was my fault for sending the mixed signals, and though I did shoot down his attempt, he was the one who had made the move too early on.
Until we were able to have a conversation about it, I knew we were going to be stuck with the tension between us, and I hated that. I had to at least clear the air on that front, even if it didn’t lead to us being friends. I didn’t need him to befriend me. I just wanted to know we were on good grounds with each other while we were working together.
Not to mention the fact he was on my mind a lot more than I ever dreamed a man would be, and I felt that had to mean something, too. Cole wasn’t like the other men I had known in my life. He respected me when I told him no, and he had still come to work and treated me with respect for being his boss. In the past, I had dealt with plenty of men who would be total assholes to me after I didn’t give them what they wanted, and I was rather taken by surprise to find out firsthand he wasn’t at all like that.
So, I didn’t want the lingering tension. I had to get to the bottom of things with him and clear the air. As soon as that was out of the way, I hoped we’d be able to go back to working as we had been. While it wasn’t exactly working together, it also wasn’t fighting each other as we had done the first day.
“The other night,” I said, breaking the silence, “I well, I just wanted you to know that I noticed you’ve been difference since then.”
I hoped that would open the floor for him to express himself and how he was feeling, but instead, he gave me a short nod but said nothing. I wasn’t sure how to continue, so I hesitated. But, when he didn’t say anything, I felt I ought to just put it all out on the table.
“Look,” I said. “When you tried to kiss me the other day and I turned you down, I want you to know that it had nothing to do with me not being attracted to you, because I am.”
He looked at me in surprise, but still didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but I didn’t think he was going to just go through this without talking to me. I had to get through to him, but I also had to be careful. We were still in an employer and employee situation, and while I was discussing with the person I was paying how attractive I found him, that didn’t change the fact that I wanted to remain at some level of professionalism.
“I want to make it up to you,” I said. “Come over for dinner, please?”
“I’m just trying to get done with my shit for the day so I can get out of here,” Cole replied, not at all bothering to hide how put out he was over my suggestion.
“I see that, but I was just saying that I feel like we ended things on a bad note the other day, and I would like to fix it, if at all possible. I would love for you to come over just for dinner. You don’t have to stay long, but it would really make me feel better, please?” I asked.
He looked at me, and I could almost see the debate taking place in his head. He didn’t say so, but he was torn. I understood why he didn’t want to come over. But I wasn’t backing down, either. I wasn’t the kind of woman who backed down when faced with something I’d made a mistake over, and this wouldn’t be the time I started.
“I’m making meatloaf,” I continued. “It won’t take but an hour to put together from when I get back to my place to having the food on the table, so it’s not going to set you back all night. It would really mean a lot to me if you would at least consider it.”
There was another moment of silence, but I felt I had said enough. I didn’t want to beg him to come over, and I felt I was on the verge of doing that. But, I also didn’t want him to dismiss the idea because he already had his own opinions formed about me, either. Even if having him over to dinner didn’t do anything to patch up the tension that had formed between us, it didn’t mean I didn’t want to at least give it a shot.
“Alright,” he said at last. “But you know I’m not going to stay all evening. It’s a two-hour drive to get back to my place, and I don’t want to be out of the house until midnight.”
“Deal.” I smiled broadly. I had a feeling once he had a taste of the dinner I had planned, he’d be glad he chose to stay after all. It was just a matter of getting him under my roof so I had the chance to show him what I could do in the kitchen. My mother had often said that the way into a man’s heart was through his stomach, and while I wasn’t exactly after his heart here, I did want to smooth things over with him, and I figured it would be the same thing.
We finished unpacking the boxes in the office, then put the extra flyers next to the recycling.
