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“It’s a Plan B. Drink it.” She backs away as if I’m holding poison in my hand, but I don’t allow space between us. She’ll drink it, even if I have to force it down her fucking throat.
“I’m not drinking that.” Her tongue comes out to moisten her lips, and a shudder passes through me when I remember sucking it last night.
“As if you have a choice.” Her back hits the wall, and I box her in, glass in one hand, pill in the other.
“Luke, please. I don’t want to.” Her voice trembles, but I see right through her.
“Why?” I mock. “Was this your plan all along? Get me drunk. Get me to fuck you bare. Fall pregnant, and then what? I leave my wife for you? We’d get married and ride off into the sunset together.” She flinches at my words, but girls like her, they always bounce back.
“I give you what she won’t,” she spits out. “I let you do dirty things to me, things that you need, things that she thinks are beneath her.”
“Don’t,” my voice lowers, rage coiling inside my gut at the way she’s talking about Alexis as if she has the right to do so, “presume to think you know anything about Alexis and about me.”
“I know enough to know that you keep coming back to me.”
“Enough. Shut the fuck up and swallow this fucking pill.”
“And if I don’t?” Defiance blazes from her eyes, so I play the only card I have.
“Then you won’t see me again, ever. And if you fall pregnant from this clusterfuck, I still won’t be in your life.”
I watch her calculating eyes, weighing all her options. This is why I don’t feel guilty about my behavior. I’m not stupid. I know why she set her sights on me, why her pursuit of me was relentless.
She didn’t care that I already belonged to someone else, and she sure as hell didn’t care about me. Seeing someone she thought could give her the life she wanted, she went for it. She thought I was weak, that I couldn’t resist her, and that’s why I caved.
In a sense she’s right, but it’s sure as hell not for the reasons she thinks it is. She’s an inherently selfish person, and that’s why I punish her.
“Do you want to take a chance on the fact that you might be pregnant? What are the odds of that happening after one time?” I’m in full sales mode, softening my face and my tone to convince her. “Do you really want to give up what we have for this?” I reach out with the hand still holding the pill and softly stroke down her cheek. I’m giving her hope for a future. Leaning forward, I rest my forehead against hers, my breath warm against her lips. “I’m not ready to give you up. Please don’t do this to us.”
The moment her body softens, her arms wrapping around me, I know I have her. I shudder when I press my lips lightly against hers, and she mistakes it for lust or love because she lets out a small groan, trying to deepen the kiss.
I pull back slowly. “Please, baby, just drink it. Then we can have a nice breakfast and spend some time together before I need to leave.”
“Okay,” she breathes, and I watch as she finally swallows the pill. My skin feels itchy, and all I want to do is get the fuck out of there and scrub all evidence of her off of me, but I don’t trust her not to stick her finger down her throat the moment I turn my back.
So instead, I watch as she makes us breakfast. I force every single bite down while she’s busy chattering away about something I couldn’t give a shit about. I knew in my gut that staying over was a mistake, but I didn’t listen. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t love her, in fact, I fucking hate her and I wish I could just walk away, but what do I do when the urge gets so strong that it feels like I’m unraveling? There is no way I can let this ugly, dirty part of me touch Alexis. I’m too ashamed, and if she ever found out, I would never see that look of absolute love and devotion in her eyes when she looks at me. I would lose her and Lizzy, and that can never happen. I won’t allow it.
