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I must never be a submissive wolf again.
Prologue: Don't Let Me Burn With Regret
I don't want to die.
The thought rang over and over in my mind as I fought against the ropes holding my wrists captive. I hadn't felt panic like this in a very long time, cold sweat dripping down my body while I struggled to simply breathe.
My eyes darted everywhere in the car, desperate to get a glimpse of any saving grace that would catapult me out of this deadly situation.
Why did this happen? What did I do to land me here?
My way of thinking would be scolded by my therapist, but there had to be more to this than just the wrong place and time. I knew better, and though I was fighting against the tightness in my chest that emphasized the truth of the matter unfolding before me, I couldn't allow myself to accept it.
To admit that, yet again, I've been betrayed by those who should have loved me...protected me.
That was how Kyle died.
Instead of his death motivating me to strive for better, I turned into...this. A helpless woman who took shit from everyone. Not because I was shy or truly weak, but because I was just tired of fighting a battle I'd never win.
I deserved to perish in this world that hated outcasts like me.
"How far out before we reach the woods?"
My eyes darted to the review mirror, hoping to get a picture of who the driver was. The voice was familiar, and they were purposely speaking deeper to disguise their voice.
"Five minutes?"
"Do I really have to wait that long to feast?" I swallowed the lump in my throat as the cloth wrapped around my mouth became more apparent with how desperate I was to speak out.
To scream, be heard, and beg for mercy.
This moment in my life that was surely coming to a dramatic end ignited so many thoughts of regret. I couldn't understand why I couldn't change myself. Why did I have to be such a weak person? No strength, perseverance, drive. I was the biggest pushover, and that was why I sat next to my boyfriend - my apparent kidnapper.
I'd finished my shift like any other person, once again getting cut off on tips because I was "too generous" and couldn't speak up for myself. The long, shitty day was the repeat of my last four years, since I’d volunteered at this cafe before I’d gotten a part-time job at fifteen.
Part-time led to full time, but the pay hadn't changed, and the overtime made me worried about whether I'd ever get paid my fair share versus everyone around me that were doing half the work
I do it to myself.
That was what my boyfriend had said every day for the last two years. We started dating when I was sixteen, and now that I was inching towards nineteen, I'd come to realize he wasn't the best for me. At first, he was my safe haven.
Someone strong who I hoped not to necessarily rely on, but who could provide me a sense of safety in this small town that was the only option for a girl like me with no money, inheritance, or family members. My parents died in a freak accident that I'd personally come to conclude was a murder.
My little brother, Kyle, was kidnapped by a molester, and they found his body in the woods just before a forest fire attempted to get rid of all the evidence. And my older brother? Well, he vanished after my younger brother's disappearance.
The fact that he wasn’t considered a prime suspect was just another circumstance that worked against me, and it left me homeless, with no money, and nothing to work hard towards.
I was just barely surviving in the hollows of this desolate world.
So why was I now heading towards the same path as my little brother?
I never thought my boyfriend would try to sell me. After my shift, he picked me up and offered me a bottle of orange juice after a long day. I paid no mind to it - my ultimate mistake - and now I was here, trying to not have a panic attack with my boyfriend to my left and a driver in black and wearing a mask taking us to the outskirts of our small town called Hollow Country.
I came here to start over because it was the closest town to the big city filled with matte black buildings and hopeful dreams, but more important, Hollow Country was a close-knit community and the forestry around it was a real sight to see.
Why didn't I think it would be too good to be true? Too beautiful to hide the disgusting deeds done by their own townspeople?
The man looked into the rearview mirror, his eyes locking onto my pale blue ones. My eyes were the most unique in the family. I’d taken most of my father's qualities, which included my very odd two-toned hair. Everyone thought it was highlighted to be a vivid orange that shifted into turquoise blue locks, but nope. I was born that way.
