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I’m not wearing panties. Why aren’t I wearing panties?she thought, feeling suddenly panicked.
She had a dim memory of being so upset the night before she didn’t care what she put on. The long gown covered her well enough, so why bother with underwear? That had been her thinking, anyway.
Now she was wondering if she was getting his side damp with her juices. She was, after all, pressed right up against him and she’d been having the most amazingly erotic dream about him going down on her…
“Morning, baby,” the deep voice rumbled through her whole body, since she was pressed up against him.
“Oh, er…good morning.” Mattie looked up at the big Hybrid uncertainly. Could he feel how wet she had gotten and how she was pressing against him? Oh God, she hoped not! This situation was turning out to be all kinds of inappropriate and it was only their second day.
“Sleep well?” Grath asked, smiling down at her. “You didn’t seem to have anymore bad dreams after we talked.”
After they had talked? Suddenly the night before came back to Mattie in a rush. The way she’d woken up screaming after dreaming of the assault and the way Grath had held her as she cried all over him.
And then she and Grath had talked—reallytalked—about her past and for the first time in years she’d felt trulyseen. He’d held her and validated her fears. He’dbelievedher when she’d told him what happened. He didn’t dismiss her or tell her she’d “imagined the whole thing.” In fact, he’d wanted to go out and kill Principal Thurgood and Luke Hartsford, and she’d had to talk fast to keep him from doing exactly that.
Afterwards, she had felt so safe in his arms and he had held her close and “turned up” his body heat just for her, to keep warm all night long. He was still radiating heat like a furnace this morning—it felt incredibly good, especially considering the chilly temperature of the attic. Despite being connected to the central heating, it never seemed to get warm enough during the long, harsh winters.
Who would ever have believed she would feel so close to the big, growly, surly Protector who had been the bane of her existence for the past few months? Mattie could hardly believe it herself, but here she was—waking up in his arms and actually feeling safe and cared for, (if rather embarrassed)—under the circumstances. It seemed impossible, but here they were.
“Any dreams?” Grath repeated and she realized she hadn’t answered him the first time. Then she remembered the dream she’d been having right before she’d woken up, with the big Hybrid just about to go down on her.
I must have dreamed it because of what Sophie told me,she thought. Her friend had confided that Kindred maleslovedtasting their women.
“They crave the taste of their females,”she’d said.“It’s actually a biological need for the Kindred to taste their women. Sylvan tried to tell me differently when we first met, but only because he was trying not to freak me out. I found out later how badly they need it.”
But would Grath want or need that fromher?
Of course not,Mattie told herself quickly.You probably only had that dream because you were feeling safe and validated with a man for the first time in…well, ever.
“No—no dreams,” she said brightly, since he was still looking down at her expectantly.
“Is that right?” A skeptical smile curved the corners of his mouth. “You talk in your sleep—did you know that, little girl?”
“I…I have to get up. I need a shower!” Mattie exclaimed.
Pushing away from the big Hybrid, she slid out of bed, barely noticing the freezing cold of the New England winter morning.
“You just had a shower last night,” Grath pointed out, frowning.
“I know but…but I need another. I can never wake up in the morning without one,” Mattie babbled. “Uh, excuse me.”
And she ducked into the bathroom, heart racing. God, what had she said in her sleep? Nothing awful, she hoped. Nothing that would give Grath the wrong idea…
Okay, get a grip, Mattie!she told herself sternly, as she started the shower and waited for the water to get warm.Yes, last night with Grath was nice—amazing, actually. Who knew he had such emotional depths or that he could be so sensitive and supportive? But you’re not actually dating—this is all fake and you have to remember that and not let yourself get caught up in the act you two are playing out together. Keep yourself grounded in reality—once this is all over, the two of you are going to go back to the Mother Ship and you’ll just be coworkers again—nothing more and nothing less. So keep a check on your emotions—all right?
The stern self-talking-to helped and after a quick shower to clear her head, Mattie came back out into the bedroom wrapped in her fuzzy bathrobe and wearing her matching slippers.
She was surprised to see Grath sitting on the bed, pouring over one of her old yearbooks.
“Hey, you know you’re pretty fucking adorable in these pictures,” he commented, when she came in.
Mattie came up to see which picture he was looking at and groaned when she saw it was her senior class photo.
“Oh, don’t look at that! I look terrible!”
“No, you don’t.” He frowned as he glanced up at her. “You never told me you wear oculars,” he said, pointing at the thick glasses perched on her nose in the picture.
“I don’t—not anymore,” Mattie told him. “I got Lasik surgery as soon as I could afford it—I haven’t had to wear them since.”
