AllFreeNovel
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This place is beautiful. I can see mountains in the distance. Snow covering the top higher than the clouds. Thousands of miles worth of trees above us.
A stream flows fast in front of Kalisha and I as we sit on mats to meditate. I hadn’t fully grasped how to shut my mind off yet, but every day I can feel the calming effects it has on me. I just have to let go. And that is the hardest part.
“Hey, Kalisha, can I ask you something?”
She smiles, her purple hair tied up to her head in a bun. “You may,” she says with her eyes still shut.
“Do you believe everything happens for a reason?”
Her eyes flutter open. She studies me for a minute before answering, “That would be if I believed in a higher power.”
“Do you?”
She hums, looking at the stream. “I believe in something. Do I think God hates one for loving their same gender? No. I believe there is something out there. A higher power. So yeah. I think everything happens for a reason.”
I nod. “I want to believe there is a higher power, but if I do, then that means it allowed me to suffer.”
“What do you mean, suffer?”
I like Kalisha. I trust her. But I don’t know if she’ll tell the others my secrets. But if I am going to make friends, I need to take a chance.
I study her. Her beautiful mocha skin. The way the orange yoga outfit complements it. How free and happy she is.
“Let me ask you something,” I say carefully.
“Have you ever gone to bed so hungry the pain kept you awake? Have you ever stolen food to eat? Slept on a bench at the park because it was safer than your home? Ever taped your shoes because they were falling apart?”
Her eyes soften. It isn’t with pity or judgment. They show a form of love. The kind that cares.
“I haven’t,” she replies softly.
I nod. I figured as much.
“I envy you guys,” I whisper.
“You think because we are rich, we don’t have problems?”
I shake my head. “Not at all. I believe everyone faces their own demons. Some just get easier ones.” My eyes connect with hers, locking.
“I guess I only see what you allow me to see. It would just help if you all seemed like humans instead of robots.” She laughs at this.
“That’s true. But you had something none of us ever had.”
Puzzled, I turn to her, tilting my head to the side.
“How so?”
“You had the freedom to be whoever you wanted to be. The freedom of being alone. Of having strangers not know who you are. Our whole lives have been one giant show. People telling us who and what to be. It’s exhausting to have so many people cast judgment on your life.” She sighs, tossing a rock.
“You seem free and happy.”
She smiles at that, looking to the sky.
“My whole life, people have been telling me what to do. Then one day, I decided I was done. I told the world, ‘hey fuckers I like girls!’” She lets out a tiny laugh. “And that day, I became free. My parents were outraged. Social media was supportive, but oh, the few who weren’t? They left comments like, carpet muncher, Satan worshiper, some even said they hoped I rotted in hell for betraying our God.”
My chest tightens and my anger rises for her.
“All because I didn’t love what society thought I should. Demanded. To them, we are faces. They don’t see us as real people with feelings. And we all have to paint on a smile. Especially Tucker.” That gets my attention.
