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“I am too. That’s why I feel like I’m not ready… that I can’t… “ She took a huge swallow of her wine. “I rely on other people too much.”
I didn’t want to get into any of this tonight. She was anxious and upset and I was still raw from her rejection. But I couldn’t say nothing at all so I leaned against the counter and sipped my wine. I set it back down. “What’s wrong with relying on other people? I don’t think as a species we’re really meant to do everything on our own, alone.”
“I don’t even know what I’m saying,” she mumbled into her glass. With her left hand she reached up and ripped her hair tie out for about the fourth time. She kept putting her hair up and taking it back down, then repeating the act.
Her blond hair spilled over her shoulders. I felt things I shouldn’t feel under the circumstances. Dirty, possessive things.
“Maybe tonight isn’t the time to worry about any of that,” I said.
“True. But I need to figure my shit out.”
“You probably shouldn’t take advice from me,” I said. “I’m shit at having a relationship.” I didn’t really have any right to judge her chaotic and complicated emotions. I had stumbled from one fucked up relationship to another with lots of downtime in between.
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Oh, believe it.” I grinned at her. “You’ve barely scratched the surface of my stupidity.”
Faith gave a soft laugh. “I don’t believe you. I know you better than you think.”
That made my laughter fade. I didn’t know what to say to that. I wasn’t even sure what she meant by that.
But then she groaned. “Dang it. I feel torn in two,” she said. “I want to be both here and in Louisiana.”
Because she had bigger issues at hand than me. Right.
“Want to watch a movie to take your mind off everything?” I asked.
“Yes.”
Somehow watching an action movie involved her leaning against my shoulder as she finished her wine. Then her yawning. And sliding down. Until she was crammed up next to me. I shifted my legs so that she had more room. Which meant she was sprawled across my lap. Her head on my thighs. She fell asleep, her anxious breathing hitting my crotch.
I looked at the ceiling and wondered who I’d fucked over in a past life to deserve this kind of torture. I flipped a blanket from the arm of the couch over her legs. I stroked the soft strands of her hair and got an erection.
Just another Saturday night.
Fuck my life.
ChapterThirteen
Faith
The lights flicked on,blinding me. I jerked, completely disoriented. I realized I was stretched out on the couch under a blanket, sleeping on MacKay’s chest. His arm was wrapped around me, preventing me from falling onto the floor.
I blinked and propped myself on my elbow, afraid one of the kids had just come into the room.
It was worse than one of the kids.
It was Cash.
“Hi,” I said, trying to smooth my hair down discreetly. I had no idea what time it was but it didn’t feel like I had been asleep for long. “I didn’t expect you home so early. Is the baby here already? Is he okay? Is Sera okay?”
Cash looked worn out as he fell into the club chair across from the couch. “Sera and the baby are fine. He has not been born yet. It turns out Sera has gallstones. The doctors managed to stop the contractions. They’re keeping Sera at the hospital for at least a few days, if not until the baby is born.”
“Oh, geez. Well, that’s all good news, though gallstones sound painful. But the longer the baby spends developing, the better.”
MacKay had not so subtly sat up and shifted out from under me, as if that made it less obvious we’d been snuggled up on top of each other. My head was pounding from the red wine and my sinuses felt swollen from crying earlier. My mouth was dry. But hearing that Sera and the baby were okay had tears threatening all over again. The relief was enormous.
“It is good news. As is the fact that somehow Conway is still alive.” Cash shook his head. “Struck by lightning. What the fuck, right?”
