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I stood up, crying, and wrapped the blanket around me. I shuffled through my mostly empty, half unpacked apartment and locked the front door.
Why did the two things I wanted the most have to be in conflict?
It felt unfair. It felt horrible.
I sank down onto the floor and huddled into the blanket, wondering if I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life. I started to worry about him driving home so late at night. I grabbed my phone and texted him.
Drive safe. Text me when you get home.
K.
I was still awake when I got a text that just said “home.”
Ok, thanks for letting me know.
He never replied.
MacKay
You know what happens when you realize you’re in love with a woman you can’t have?
Aside from the obvious, which is that you think about her all the time and have incredible sex dreams starring her that wake you up in the middle of the night so you can lie there for a tormented hour in a ball of sexual frustration.
Fuck.
What was I talking about?
Right.
Aside from the fun of allthat?
She’severywhere.
Every single time you go to work, she’s there.
Any time you hit the gym, her name pops up on your screen with an email or work DM.
When you scroll through your photos your eye lands on a pic you took of her sleeping, post-sex.
And when you’re hosting an important work party for A list guests, oh, she’s there. She’s fucking there. Dressed in a skintight cocktail dress that looks painted onto her curvy body and sporting wavy curls that make her look both like an angel and a temptress all at the same time, which is an amazing feat.
Her laugh seems to fill the room, lifting higher than everyone else’s voice, so no matter where you are, whether at the bar, or by the door, or at a hightop table chatting with a real estate mogul, you hear it.
Every step you take somehow results in her being in your line of vision, and you swear on a stack of bibles that no one, literally no one, seems to be able to stop fucking talking about her.
“Faith really hit it out of the park.”
“Faith looks great tonight.”
“Faith has so much potential. She’s super smart.”
“Faith was telling me that Jolene Hart just arrived.”
“Faith brought a friend.”
“How’s Faith doing at Four Brothers?”
Faith. Faith. Faith. Faith.
