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Harleigh
I’d forgotten how wild game night could be, let alone the opening game of the season. Just like Darling Hill High had done all the years previous, DA went all out. The bunting and flags, a whole student population dressed in red and white, the constant hoots and hollers in the hall at school. The entire day had been a frenzy.
So much so, I wasn’t sure I would make it through the actual game.
My muscles had grown tenser as the day went on, my skin tight and itchy. And if my body felt tense, my stomach felt hollow. A vast pit of nothingness that was slowly swallowing me whole.
But of course, I pasted on my best fake smile and armed myself with enough ‘I’m fine’ and ‘I’m okays’ to make it through the day.
Now I was here, at DA’s impressive stadium, following Celeste as we weaved through the sea of rowdy spectators. Guys wearing foam Devil’s horns, and girls with painted faces brushed up against me as I pressed closer to Celeste.
“Guys, over here,” she yelled over the ruckus, and Nate and Miles burst through the crowd.
“Whoa, this is some turn out,” Nate said, offering me a polite smile. Things had been a little weird between us all week. Friendly but strained.
“You’ve never been to a football game before?” I asked him.
“I have, but not like this.”
“The Devils-Hawks rivalry is intense,” Miles said. “Things always get kind of crazy.”
I winced at his choice of words, but he didn’t notice. And why would he? It was a colloquialism generally accepted by society and yet it held such painful connotations for me, and so many people like me.
In the early days of living with Michael and his family, Max had called me crazy so many times, I’d actually begun to question whether he was right. Whether I really was losing my mind. But grief was a strong emotion, and in many ways, it did change you. Even when the holes left behind by the people you lost began to heal, the scars were still there. Forever ingrained on your soul.
“Harleigh?” Celeste squeezed my hand and I blinked at her.
“Yeah?”
“Are you sure you’re okay? I know it’s kind of intense.”
“I can handle it.”
For Nix, I’d do it. I’d step out of the shadows and into the light.
“You girls want something to eat? A hot dog or some cotton candy?”
“Ooh, I wouldn’t say no to some cotton candy.” Celeste grinned at Nate.
“I’ll get it,” Miles said. “Want to come with me?” His uncertain smile was so freaking cute.
“Sure.” Celeste accepted his hand and the two of them joined the line.
“Hey,” Nate said, stepping closer. “You holding up okay?”
“It’s… a lot.”
“It’s high school. Football is religion.”
“Yet you don’t seem all that interested,” I said, noting his lack of team colors or Devils jersey.
“Yeah, team sports aren’t really my thing.”
“They’re not mine either.”
“Then we can begrudgingly watch the game together.” He winked and some of the tension inside me loosened. “What’s happening there?” he said, inclining his head to where Celeste and Miles were standing.
“Why, has he said something to you?”
