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Rae
By the time I head to La Mer, I’m so amped up I could explode.
“Don’t worry about us,” Annie insists. “The nanny is looking after the baby here. We’ll be over in a car closer to the start time of your show.”
I hug each of my friends in turn.
Toro insists on driving me, and Harrison holds the back door.
“What are you doing?” I ask as he shifts inside.
“Going with you.”
I’m grateful to have his presence.
We drive over in silence. There’s so much to be said, but given the amount of our relationship devoted to banter and argument, the quiet is too precious to break.
When we arrive, Harrison kisses me hard. I don’t think he’s going to let me go, but finally he pulls back.
“I’ve got your back. We all do,” he murmurs against my lips.
I nod.
At the back entrance, I get out. My security followed us in another car, and they come with me.
I’ve always wanted to be here, and now I am. The club is huge and empty, but as we wind through the halls, it occurs to me that tonight it’s mine.
Not Mischa’s, not even Harrison’s.
You can’t buy a feeling. Can’t own an emotion.
No matter what happens beyond the dance floor, I can give the people on it everything I am.
The prep is a blur. I catch Eva’s eye once, in the hall outside the green room, but don’t see Mischa.
I get on stage as the lighting tech cuts everything to black.
There’s nothing but the energy of the crowd. A pulsing, throbbing beat.
It’s my heart.
When I lift my headphones onto my ears, I focus on what I can do—my set.
From the first chords of my opening track of the night, the crowd erupts. The lights come up, and they see me and I see them.
This is what I wanted, and nothing can take tonight away from me.
It’s my job to hold them in my hands. To take them on a journey, to keep them safe and entertained and away from whatever’s going on behind closed doors.
I lose myself.
It’s the end of my set when my phone lights up.
Harrison: There’s a problem. The deal’s supposed to be going down, but the cameras haven’t shown Mischa setting foot near his office.
Shit.
I scan the venue from my bird’s-eye view on stage. Nothing.
