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I shrug. “I couldn’tsleep.”
After Wes and I slept together Thursday and again at my office on Friday, the anxiety wentaway.
Until Saturday night, when it came back stronger thanever.
It’s not because I need to burn off energy or want the distraction of sex. Hello, I had amazingsex.
The only thing I can figure is I’m worried about letting Wes down. And I have all these feelings I’m not sure what to do with. In the past week, our relationship haschanged.
We were friends before. Now we’re somethingelse.
Not more than. Just…different.
Having sex with him is like getting secret access to everything he’s thinking but never says in daylighthours.
But it’s not only physical. He cracks me up with his commentary about the kids at school. And I can’t help but admire hisbrain.
Plus, his body. Holy hell, the man can do anything he puts his mindto.
I know I have feelings for him. When I lie awake at night, they even scare me alittle.
I care about him as a person. His goals, his dreams, the way he sees me when it feels like no one elsedoes.
But neither of us is looking for somethingserious.
Calling Wes over the weekend because I couldn’t kick the buzzing in my stomach didn’t feel right—for me or forhim.
So…
ASMR.
It’s all soft things and quiet whispers, designed to calm and satisfy. It’s actually kind ofgood.
“It’s like chicken soup for your ears,” Idecide.
Kendall laughs. “They want to have an event, which is another reason I’m glad you’re on this with me. My specialty is children’sbirthdays.”
“What’s theirbudget?”
Kendall tells me. “It’s crazy, right? For a two-personshop.”
“I have no problem spending that kind ofcash.”
We toss around ideas, and I’m feeling pretty good when we head back to theoffice.
“I’ll write up these notes,” I offer, taking off toward the bathroom and waving atKendall.
I’m reapplying my red lipstick when my phonebuzzes.
Despite trying to keep my independence, I hadn’t been able to resist sending one tiny text to Wes after midnight saying I had no idea how to handle the ASMRpeople.
He hadn’t responded, which I naturally read as “I’m too busy” or “That’s beyond the scope of what we’re doinghere.”
Wes:Hey. Fell asleep without charging my phone lastnight.
Wes:You do this all the time. You’ll crushit.
My lips curveat the corners, but as I lift my head and stare at my reflection, I feel guilt kickin.
