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“But,” I go on, dropping bottles in the recycling can, “I’m not taking no for ananswer.”
I straighten to see Rena leaning over the island, her elbows on the marble surface. “You’re too good forthem.”
“Don’t make fun of me,” I mutter, my chest tightening. “Not aboutthis.”
“I’m not. You’re too good for all of us, Wes. You’re always three steps ahead. It must be hard. Andlonely.”
I lean over the table, tapping my fingers on the edge as I try to find a smile and come up short. “How do you get lonely from that?” I ask atlast.
She shrugs. “Being the most anything is lonely. People judge. They don’t understand you. If you want to be the best, it means hanging out on alimb.”
I’d never thought of it that way. “Maybe that’s the price you pay to be good—beingalone.”
“Or maybe you need someone to keep you connected.” She holds up her pinkie, reminding me of our promise in thehallway.
My neck gets hot because fuck me if that wasn’t the cheesiest thing I’ve done in a long time, but I couldn’t help it. I’ve been doing a lot of things I never thought I’ddo.
Now, I’m saved from hiding whatever’s on my face when she goes to her purse and pulls out a bag. “And maybe once in a while, you need torelax.”
I study the brightly coloredcandies.
“Gummy bears? You think a sugar coma’s going tohelp?”
“The active ingredient in these isnotsugar.” I raise a brow. “No pressure. They’re my mom’s,” she adds. “I forgot they were still in my bag. She only got them because they’d be less bad than painkillers if Beck took them to numb out.” I take the bag from her. “You’ve had a hell of a few weeks. Few months, really. And you’re pretty much the most responsible person I know. My parentsincluded.”
The thing is, I’m not upset right now. If I was, I’d have pushed the bag away already, because I know better than to use anything as acrutch.
“If you’re worried about being responsible, you can do it. I won’t,” shesays.
Hell. This girl’s even kind about gettinghigh.
“No way,” I say. She reaches for the bag, but I hold them out of reach. “If I’m getting high tonight? I’m not doing italone.”
* * *
“Do you feel it?”Renaasks.
“Not yet.You?”
We’re sitting on the balcony. The concrete should be cold, but I barely noticeit.
She shakes her head. “But I do feel very smart after that whole debate thing.” I laugh and she turns to me. “Tell me about yourresearch.”
“That’s what you want to do right now?” Isnort.
“Yes. Scienceme.”
My smirk is gone. Because holy hell, if a woman’s ever said two hotter words in the English language, I don’t know what theyare.
I go to the kitchen and come back with a plate. I set it on the concrete between us and hold out a hand. “Pass ‘emover.”
“All ofthem?”
“All ofthem.”
I take the bag of gummies from Rena, open the seal, and grab a handful. Then I get to work laying the gummies in two straightlines.
“I’m a genetic epidemiologist. All that means is that I look at what explains diseases across a big number ofpeople.”
