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“It’s okay, Olivia. Whatever it is, I am here for you. We will get through it together like we always do. Promise.”
I take a deep breath and tell her everything. Thankfully, she kept my surprise visit to Cape May from Parker, not sure if I would want him to know.
“I don’t believe it. I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. Sparks fly when you two are in a room together. You had to have been mistaken.”
“Ells, I know what I saw. They kissed. The slut bag had her hands on his body. Is it really that hard to believe? He doesn’t do commitments. He likes his freedom. He hasn’t been in a relationship since high school.”
“Yes, since you. He only does relationships with you because he loves you. None of this makes sense.”
I focus on the almost empty carton of ice cream on the coffee table, hoping it will distract me from my thoughts. I exhale, wrapping my arms around my knees, pulling them into my chest.
“You need to talk to him, Olivia. Hear him out. There are two sides to every story.”
“I’m not talking to him.”
Ellie sighs, pushing up from the couch to standing, clearing the dirty dishes from my coffee table.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m cleaning up your mess, and then I’m putting you in the shower and getting you out of those clothes. I love you, Olivia, but you smell, and your hair looks like you styled it with mayonnaise.”
I can’t argue. She’s right. I shower and change into joggers and a loose fit t-shirt. When I’m done, I find Ellie in my newly cleaned living room shuffling through Netflix. There are two cups of hot tea on the coffee table.
“Have I ever told you there’s no one better than you, Ells?” I lower myself to the couch beside her, and she wraps one arm around my shoulder.
“You are very lucky to have me. I am pretty amazing. I know a bunch of people who would agree.”
I chuckle and lean forward, reaching for my tea and taking a sip, letting the hot liquid soothe the knot in my throat. It warms my chest, lulling the ache that consumes my body. It feels good going down, but I wonder if a tumbler of something stronger to numb the pain might have been the smarter choice.
“Should we watch a movie, or do you want to talk?”
I think about it for a second. “I don’t know. What is there to say? He broke my heart. I thought he was it for me. I could have sworn he was the one. I saw a future together. I saw babies. Now I just feel like an idiot.”
“I’m sorry, Olivia. I thought he was the one too.” Ellie runs her hand down my ponytail. “I have to text him and let him know you are alive. He asked me to check on you. He’s worried sick and it’s not fair for him to think that something bad happened to you.”
“That’s fine. What will you say? Not that it matters anyway, he obviously couldn’t care less about me.”
“I will tell him that you are safe at home and that he’s a giant asshole.”
“All true,” I grumble. My chest tightens thinking of him. The image of the woman’s lips on his replays over and over in my mind and I can’t make it stop. I set my mug down on the coffee table and rub my eyes with my palms. I fall back into the couch and pull my legs into my chest.
“It hurts so bad, Ells. I feel like I can barely breath.” I feel the warmth of my best friend’s arms wrap around my trembling body. She smooths my hair from my face and tells me to cry it out. It’s going to take endless tears and an entire lifetime to get over Parker Bennett, and even that might not be enough.
* * *
A ray of sunshine cuts a straight line across my bedroom. My eyes adjust to the morning light as I roll over, looking for Ellie. We fell asleep last night on the couch watching a movie. Ellie nudged me at some point, waking me from my sleep and we relocated to my bed. I fell back asleep in a little spoon position with Ellie’s arms around my center.
I rub my eyes and stumble out of bed and into the kitchen. She’s left a note beside an empty mug on the counter. My phone that I haven’t seen since Friday night is plugged into the wall and charging. The note reads…
Morning! Off to work, wanted to let you sleep. I’ll see you tonight. I’m taking you out for dinner. Get out of the house today and stay far away from chocolate ice cream, I promise you’ll feel better. Love you, Ells
I pop a coffee puck into the machine and slide two pieces of bread into the toaster. My apartment is ridiculously quiet as I sit at the breakfast bar and turn on my phone. The screen lights up, alerting me I have more messages from Parker. I lock my phone and throw it back to the counter without opening any of his messages. I have nothing to say to him so what’s the point?
I finish my toast and coffee and get back in my preferred position on my couch. I catch myself staring out the window. The sun is pouring in, taunting me to get my ass off of the couch and get some fresh air. I decide to take Ellie’s advice. I need to run. I need to feel the sun on my face. I’m done thinking about Parker. I’m done feeling sorry for myself.
I dress in my sports bra and running shorts, lace up my sneakers and head out my door. The warmth of the sun feels like a heavy blanket wrapped around me. My feet pound the pavement, my heartbeat hammering in my chest. It’s my escape. An escape I needed today more than ever.
I travel my usual route along the boardwalk. Closing my eyes, I inhale the fresh ocean breeze and then exhale a full breath back out. I can breathe again. The sounds of the waves crashing into shore calm my frayed nerves. I typically have my ear buds in, music high, motivating me to run faster, but today I left my phone at home. Parker hasn’t stopped sending me messages. I’m too angry to respond, but instead let that anger fuel me to a personal best. I run seven miles before losing steam. My heartbeat feels like it’s bursting through my rib cage as I bend over, my hands on my knees, breathing fast.
