“Oh Parker, you know you have always had a thing for that girl. You’ve never been able to let her go. The heart wants what the heart wants, and you are powerless to stop it. You just have to go along for the ride. My advice to you, and I’m aware it is unsolicited, would be to go get her back.” She smiles and turns back towards the kitchen, leaving me with that thought.
Typical. I am used to my mom guiding my siblings and I through life. Not pushing, just gentle nudges in the right direction. She has always been good at walking that line, giving us the advice we need but not orchestrating our lives for us. Her love for us is unconditional, never suffocating. And while she stops short of meddling, with four kids she has become an expert at handing out well-intentioned advice.
“What you need is a drink, Parks, let’s get a sixer. Don’t be getting all soft on me.” Miles claps my shoulder and steers me towards the living room.
Miles isn’t the type to get attached, so he would have zero clue how I feel. He has always been that way and these days it suits his movie star life perfectly. He has no problem sleeping in a different bed in a different city every night of the week. To some extent I have been living that way too. Walls up. Guarded. Never really feeling things. I’m not sure I have ever realized that until this moment, when I’m actually starting to feel something again.
Liam, Jules and my parents join us in the living room for a pre-party drink. Guests will be arriving soon and my mother insists on having some time with just the family, even if only for an hour. The family home is a gathering point for each of us, one we all like to come back to. It is probably much too large for my parents now that the four of us have moved out, but my mom doesn’t hide her hope that it will one day soon be filled with spouses and grandchildren.
My sister moved out last year, leaving my parents empty nesters. She moved in with a roommate, a friend she met in college, and they live about ten minutes away in a two-bedroom apartment near the water. It is a quick commute for her to work at the Seaside or to my dad’s office at the house and I know it makes my mom happy to have her nearby. Her boyfriend Alex is a nice enough guy, from what I’ve heard. I don’t know him well because I’m not around much. But Liam gave him the stamp of approval after a good couple of months of hazing, so that works for me.
“There will be no talk of business today, do you hear me? I want to know what is new in all of your lives.” My mother places her cup of hot tea on the side table, looking at each of us in turn. She is used to family gatherings veering off into discussions with our dad about the Seaside.
“I’ll sum it up really quick for you, Mom,” Miles begins. “Liam is working 24/7 and hasn’t gotten laid in a year. Jules is still dating Alex and wondering when and if he’ll ever put a ring on it and Parker is enjoying the many amenities that the Seaside penthouse has to offer, if you know what I mean.”
I raise my middle finger at him with a smirk.
“Miles, mind your manners. I don’t need to hear about any of my sons’ sex lives or lack thereof,” my mom shoots back.
“Whatever, Miles. You have a list thirty pages long of women you have discarded from your contacts,” my sister snaps back. “I shudder at the thought of the tally.”
My mother takes a deep breath, while simultaneously giving a death stare to my sister. It’s an impressive bit of multi-tasking.
“And what about you, how did the movie go?” she asks Miles, turning her attention to him. “I know you said Natalie Landon is so sweet to work with. It’s nice to know she has a good head on her shoulders. I know how those Hollywood types can be.”
“It went great. Natalie made it easy. She was never demanding with the crew or other actors, she’s a true professional and she works hard. I’ve got two months off before I start filming in Iowa, which I think will be cool. I’m planning a beach vacation in a few weeks and then I’ll start prepping for my next role.”
“That sounds wonderful, son. I’m thinking a trip to visit you in Iowa sounds like a great plan. What do you think, Grace? It would be nice to visit a state we have never been to and we could see Miles at the same time.”
“I would love that, honey. Now Liam, what’s been going on with you? Is there anyone special in your life?” My mom is many wonderful things, but she isn’t exactly subtle at times. We all know she is practically hearing the patter of tiny feet on the hardwood floors already.
“Nope, mom and I like it that way. I have zero time to worry about someone else. It’s just me and Murphy and he keeps me plenty warm at night,” Liam jokes, referring to his 80-pound golden retriever. “And besides, work is busy. I have a big case I’m working on and it’s not an easy one.”
I am only half-listening to what is happening around me. My mind is stuck on Livy, plotting what my next move should be.
I know it will be an uphill battle, but when I want something, I can be relentless. I don’t have her phone number or her home address, but I know where she works. My mind is made up, I will go there tomorrow and talk her into seeing me. Stalking is not a good look, I know, but if it gets me more time with Livy then I will be the best damn stalker there is. I shake my head. What the hell is wrong with me?
Realizing that guests will be arriving in forty-five minutes, mom sends us off to get ready for the night.
I am staying in my childhood bedroom, which hasn’t been altered since I left home. There is a row of old soccer trophies lining a shelf and a few souvenirs from family trips that feel like a lifetime ago. A wood desk full of old textbooks rests underneath the window.
I flop myself onto the double bed that I have long since outgrown, reach for my laptop and type Livy’s name, hoping she’s eased up on her privacy settings since the last time I checked. It’s like Fort Knox trying to dig up anything on Livy. I also check her Facebook page, but have no luck there either. I try her sister Kate’s social media accounts and find that she is under lock and key too. Dammit!
I give up and get dressed in my navy suit and white dress shirt and head downstairs for a drink. The party has begun, and the house is full of family and friends. I’m determined to have a good night so I hit the bar for a tumbler of whiskey and start making my rounds.
Olivia
Standing in front of my full-length mirror, I adjust my Lululemon running shorts and then make sure my ear buds are securely in place. Some people run to lose weight, some people run for a cause and some run to balance their minds. I am definitely the latter. I leave my cell phone at home, not wanting to answer the onslaught of texts pouring in from Ellie, and Kate. Both are clearly dying to know how the Bennett delivery went and if I had run into you-know-who while I was there. I’m not ready to be grilled just yet.
I had come straight home after swapping the Bloom van for my Prius, thankfully avoiding bumping into anyone I know. I washed my face with warm water to remove the little makeup I wore, threw my hair in a ponytail and changed into my running clothes. My body was still buzzing from seeing him, excitement rushing through my veins.
I had often wondered if the day would come where I’d see Parker again, and what it would feel like if it did. Now I know. The few moments we spent together reminded me of what that boy could do to me. His lips on mine, his hard body, my name falling off of his tongue. In an instant, it all came rushing back. He is still just as gorgeous, even more so. I didn’t know how that was possible or even fair. Every part of me wanted to know what he felt like again, tasted like, but I couldn’t let him get to me. He was an addiction I know I could never kick.
I leave my apartment and head out on my usual five-mile route towards the beach. The warm, dry air against my skin feels like comfort and my tension-filled muscles begin to release. My racing mind slows as I get closer to the water and I feel a calm wash over me as the ocean waves draw closer. I run along the beach towards the park then take a detour through town, feeling the air pump through my lungs.
I pick up the pace as my apartment comes into view, pushing my breathless body the last two blocks home. I slow to jog as I round the front of my building, feeling that runner’s high that my body has come to know and crave since I began running in college.
Once inside, I scroll through my texts and emails, finding one particular text I knew would be waiting for me. It’s from Ellie, wanting to know how the event went. I have avoided her long enough. I owe her the full story, so I shoot her a quick text back. I plan on heading to her place next so I can tell her all about it when I see her.