His mouth twisted, but I marched out into the cold and slammed the door behind me. My chest ached as I returned to the house, half expecting Shane to come storming after me. Instead, it was the first time I thought I’d ever managed to well and truly get under his skin.
The thought made me laugh, though the sound came out strangled and strained to my ears. How ironic was it that the first and probably only time I had managed to get under his skin was when he was sending me away and swearing there was nothing between us? Maybe he was lying, maybe he wasn’t, but I knew there was nothing I could say or do to change his mind. Talking to him had been like talking to a brick wall.
Whatever chance there might have been was now dead in the water.
“Fuck,” I muttered in a tight voice, stopping at the kitchen door and leaning my forehead against it. “Really could use a cigarette right now.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
If I thought the time after New Year had been awkward and tense, it was nothing compared to the two weeks that followed my heated discussion with Shane in his cottage. The entire house and property seemed filled with nothing but absolute misery and near silence as everything slowly degraded.
With a heavy yawn, I entered the house, doing my customary glance around to see if Shane had lingered somewhere. I wasn’t surprised to see not even the slightest hint of his presence. I had seen even less of him lately than before he’d summoned…whatever motivation he needed to lay his news in my lap.
Satisfied I wouldn’t have to deal with him immediately, I made my way to the kitchen, hoping the early shift had made coffee I could grab before my shift officially started. A smile spread over my face as the familiar and welcome smell of coffee drifted out of the kitchen, and I marched in with my bag over my shoulder.
I stopped short at the sight of the woman standing near the counter. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Sheila turned, her brow popping up. “And who are you talking to like that?”
I hesitated, then scowled, annoyed I was feeling guilty. “I’m not being a dick. I’m surprised, so don’t chide me. It’s too early for that.”
“It’s nearly four in the afternoon.”
“Which is early for me.”
“Last I knew, you woke up at about noon to start your day.”
“Outdated information.”
I dropped my bag unceremoniously onto the chair before yanking off my coat. Sheila’s eyes followed me as I marched over to the overly complicated and fancy coffeemaker on the counter. I had only used it to make simple coffee, but it had all the bells and whistles to make just about every coffee-based drink. Thankfully, it seemed Sheila was just like me and preferred straightforward drip coffee.
I poured myself a large cup and took a deep whiff. “Say what you like about this family, at least they don’t skimp when it comes to letting the staff have some of their fancy as hell coffee. God, this smells so freaking good.”
“Not often I see you have coffee when you come in,” Sheila remarked.
I rolled my eyes. “And how often have you seen me come into this house? What, three times now?”
“I’ve worked with you before, and you usually drink your coffee when you wake up and halfway through your shift.”
“That was a year ago, Sheila. Habits change.”
“Yes, but those dark circles under your eyes are eerily familiar.”
I frowned at her. “Meaning?”
“Meaning you ain’t sleeping, or not well anyways. Last time you looked like that was when you were having a rough go of things. Because Lord knows, you sleep like the dead any other time.”
I tried not to look suspicious as I adjusted my grip on the coffee mug. Sheila was right, but that didn’t mean I wanted to admit it aloud. I adored Sheila, and despite denying it to her face, I looked at her as a mother figure. Unfortunately, that also meant she was extremely nosy, tended to butt her way into my business, and wouldn’t relent if she so much as smelled trouble in my life.
And no, I hadn’t been sleeping very well. It seemed like every time I tried to lay down, my mind started whirling and humming over everything that had happened recently. Between Sophia’s continued, if slow deterioration, to the entire thing with Shane, my obsessive mind had plenty to occupy itself. I could occupy myself with work, reading, games, or shows while I was awake, but the hours when I tried to relax and get some sleep, my brain was more than happy to revisit all the things I’d been avoiding.
“In case you haven’t noticed, things aren’t exactly rainbows and sunshine around here,” I said, rather than admit the truth. “There’s not a whole lot to inspire good, restful sleep.”
“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Sheila said, glancing toward the ceiling. “She’s looking rough, which she’ll tell you herself.”
“That she will,” I snorted into my cup. “Along with just about anything else that pops into her head. Though she’s not quite as fond of having it done to her, let me tell you.”
“And why’s that?” Sheila asked as I headed to the kitchen table and sat down.