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The New Year might have been a time for people across the country to change, but within a week following the celebration, I was quickly reminded that not all change is good.
The first major change I became aware of was just how quickly Sophia was beginning to deteriorate. While I had noticed she was spending more and more time in bed during the holidays, it now seemed as if she never left it, except to use the bathroom. Even those brief excursions from the comfort and security of her bed seemed to rob what little strength she had.
“I do not,” she complained as I helped ease her back into bed, “need to be coddled.”
“Unless you fancy spending your day sprawled on the floor, then you need help,” I told her more gently than usual. I couldn’t tell what was wreaking more havoc on her system, the treatments or the cancer itself.
I had expected a rough patch even months before, but I hadn’t been ready for the reality, it seemed. Sophia’s skin looked stretched and thin, and she couldn’t raise her voice. I had to hand it to her, she still managed to bring the sharpness to her voice when she needed to or felt she needed to anyway.
“Drop me on the floor, and I’ll make sure you regret ever working in this house,” she promised me as I adjusted her blankets.
“Believe it or not, I’d feel far worse for letting you fall to the ground than anything you could do to me,” I promised her.
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” she wheezed, settling back onto the pillow.
“Well, then I guess we can both be glad I’ll never have to find out because I’m not going to let you fall,” I told her, picking up my tablet and beginning to punch in more information.
“Where…is Shane?” she asked once she finally found a position I assumed was comfortable enough for her. I could only imagine just how little comfort she found, even in the plush bed with all the worldly comforts she could ever need at hand.
“The last I saw of him, he was outside on the phone,” I told her, turning away so my face wouldn’t give away anything. “He seemed quite preoccupied with whatever he was talking about. I imagine you probably wanted things that way.”
Which marked the second change I couldn’t say I was a fan of. Within a couple of days of our night together, I had seen less and less of Shane. He spent less time on the property than usual, and even when he was around, he was on the phone or simply wasn’t in the house. I had been out to his little cottage only one night in the past week, and even then, Shane had seemed absent.
I tried my best not to let his unexpected shift in behavior get under my skin, but it was growing more difficult with each passing day. It wasn’t as if he ignored me when he was around, but I could certainly tell he was avoiding something. As horrible as it sounded, I wanted desperately for him to be avoiding what was happening with his mother rather than me specifically. Yet even with that hope in my chest, as uncomfortable and unlikable as it was, part of me still sensed it wasn’t just her he was avoiding.
“Of course I did,” she said with a soft, almost fragile snort. “The less time he spends around this house doing nothing, the better if you ask me.”
I looked up, raising a brow. “Is this where you tell me you’ve gotten sick specifically to motivate him to do something with himself?”
“Of course not,” she scoffed, pulling her tablet closer. I resisted the urge to help as I watched her fight to drag a pillow out from behind her to lay across her lap to use as a prop for the device. I knew trying to interfere would only earn her ire, and I quietly waited until she succeeded. “As willing to take drastic action as I have been when it comes to him, I wasn’t thinking quite this drastic.”
“I’m not sure if drastic is the word I would have used if you’d given yourself cancer,” I said with a small smile. “Insane would be a fitting one.”
“Suicidal would be another,” she added. “But that aside, I’m not above taking advantage of a situation when it presents itself.”
I looked up, raising a brow. “Pardon?”
“If I had wanted someone who knew everything inside and out and would be able to run things in my stead at maximum efficiency, do you really think I would have chosen Shane?” she asked, staring at me as though I were the stupidest person she had ever suffered to meet. “My son is intelligent, has gone through a great deal of excellent education, and I have made sure he has learned quite a lot from me, but that is not the same as stepping into my shoes.”
“Last I heard, you had other people stepping in to fill your shoes as well, to help him,” I said, lowering my tablet.
“I do, though now I know you have learned quite a lot yourself,” she said, her eyes still on me. Even with the sickness of disease and medication ravaging her body, Sophia still managed to keep her eyes clear and watchful.
“You overhear things when you practically live somewhere long enough,” I told her, hoping to avoid unnecessary questions about what I had or had not been doing. We had managed to keep the slightest hint of what was going on from Sophia’s watchful eyes, and I intended to keep it that way. “It’s a wonder I don’t know his personal life at this point.”
“Not that he’s ever been shy about sharing that,” she said with a huff. “But yes, even what he does now, I could have filled with one or two more experienced people.”
“Yet you chose him,” I said, sensing she wanted to be prompted.
“I did.”
“Did you do that simply because you thought he’d do an acceptable job but would finally get him to do something with himself like you always wanted?” I asked, locking the screen of my tablet and focusing my full attention on her. “Or, did you do it because you believed in him and thought it might help him?”
“You ask a great many personal questions about business that doesn’t involve you,” she noted, though I didn’t miss the lack of barb in her comment.
“That’s true,” I admitted with a shrug. “But you were the one to bring it up in the first place.”
“Perhaps to see if you could exercise your ears rather than your mouth.”
