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“Down there,” I said, gesturing toward the room full of people.
His eyes darted toward me, and he grunted. “I see the same people I’ve seen for years and years. I see their attempts to garner favor with one another, and if not favor, then some form of dominance. They measure and weigh themselves upon others and attempt to find whatever advantage they can. Behind every smile and compliment are sharp teeth ready to gobble you up if you show weakness.”
I sat back in my seat, taking another sip of my drink as I let his answer settle and watched the room below. On the one hand, I was unnerved by the sheer bitterness and cynicism in his response, that he could see a group of people through such an unhealthy and negative lens. On the other, I wasn’t surprised in the slightest. I couldn’t help but realize his irreverence for so much had to come from somewhere, and where better than a deep sense of disillusionment? And who better to give in to the basic and easiest pleasures of life than someone who had grown up believing he was surrounded by shallowness and vice?
“And what do you see?” he asked.
“I see a bunch of teenage girls hoping to impress a guy while they hang out together. Two married couples, one having issues, while the other couple are obviously in love, despite having been together for decades. I also see a man by himself, trying desperately not to pay attention to the same guy the teenage girls are watching, and a woman who has been drinking an impressive amount of alcohol while she tries not to be obvious about how nervous she is to be here.”
“That was…surprisingly less saccharine than I expected,” he said thoughtfully.
I rolled my eyes to glare at him. “Just because you have thirty thousand reasons to be jaded and cynical doesn’t mean anyone who ‘dares’ to say something nice about people or the world is just a doe-eyed idiot who doesn’t know how the world works. I see people, you jackass, just people being people. And sure, some of them are unpleasant or even mean-spirited, but some people are just living their lives, with their hopes and dreams, their worries and concerns.”
“Is that how you see the world?”
“What, people being people? Yeah, how else am I supposed to see it? Some people are good, some are bad. Most are a mixture of the two, and it’s hard to tell when they’ll fall on one side of the line or the other. People aren’t simple, even if we wish they were,” I said, draining the glass. “Or want to believe they are just because it makes things easier sometimes.”
“What, you don’t think simplicity eases your life?” he asked, turning his face toward me.
“If I did, I wouldn’t be working with people, and I wouldn’t have been working with your mother…or dealing with you, for as long as I have,” I told him wryly.
He laughed softly, and I needed to restrain myself from smiling in response. “That…is very true. Now, does that mean you look at people like my mother and even myself as just…people?”
“I think your mother is a ferocious, stubborn, determined woman who probably chose not to be bent or broken by the world again or at all,” I said with a shrug. “She’s exacting and unrelenting, so she’s not a very nice woman, but she’s never been outright cruel.”
“Interesting.”
“Well, she holds herself to the same standards…and I think she probably holds herself to even higher standards that she’s never shared.”
“Really?” His brow shot up.
“And you,” I said, looking down at my empty glass before setting it aside with a sigh. “Are a royal pain in the ass. You’re cocky, you act as though the world belongs to you half the time, and the other half, it’s like you think the world is a stage and you’re the main character. You’ve got no shame or sense of duty to anyone or anything.”
“All valid remarks.”
“But…”
There was no denying he was fearless and bold and clearly had no problem standing toe to toe with his formidable mother despite the vast power she had over him as head of the family. It was true that he was ‘easy,’ but even with me, he had never once tried to manipulate or lie to me about his intentions. Even on Halloween, he had never forced or manipulated anything, and despite being his usual cocky, teasing self, he had shown me what I thought was genuine attention and interest. Even now, he had made only one comment but otherwise was simply just…talking to me, showing interest.
My silence did not go unnoticed by the now smirking Shane. “But?”
“I can see you getting cocky again,” I said with a warning shake of my fingers. “I was just going to say that I wouldn’t call you bad either. You might think you’re a bad boy, but that’s just you being a self-important jackass.”
“Am I allowed to call myself wicked?”
“Self-important. Jackass.”
He tipped his head back and laughed, and I worked not to stare at the way his throat bobbed when he did so. “You are something else entirely. Did you know that?”
“I cannot be the first person to call you a self-important jackass,” I said doubtfully. “In all the world, with the hundreds of people you’ve known, there is no way you’ve met that many ass kissers and blindly horny people.”
He grinned. “Nope, but most of them were already pissed at me about something I’d done.”
“I can’t imagine,” I said dryly.
Shane winked. “Put yourself in my shoes for a moment.”
“I’m going to attempt to give you the benefit of the doubt and restrain any sarcastic comments,” I told him, narrowing my eyes in warning. “But if what comes out of your mouth is your normal crap, I’m finding a drink to dump on you.”
