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The thought sends hope soaring through me, but I shut it down. How can that be true? How can he say that he never wanted to leave me when he disappeared from my life for five years?
Alexander has always had a dark side. And while I was subject to his bullying for a short while in high school, he didn’t date me to toy with me. He dated me because he wanted me, forever. I know that.
Now? Now I’m not sure. What if he’s turned back to his old ways? What if I’m just a toy to him? Something to play with until he feels like breaking me and watching me bleed.
“Soph?” Alexander’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. There’s a touch of concern in his eyes. His arms tighten around me protectively.
“I don’t know what I want,” I mumble. I focus on his chest, not wanting to see the disappointment on his face.
How am I supposed to know if he’s telling the truth? If he means it when he says he doesn’t want to lose me again. What if this is all some elaborate prank to him? Something to entertain him. Or worse, what if he does mean it?
What if he means it, but when things get hard again, he doesn’t choose me? He just thinks he will.
I blink back tears. This isn’t the time to cry. Alexander is half-naked, we’re sitting on his bed, and I can feel his boner.
I expect him to make up my mind for me. To kiss me, manipulate me, bend my will until it’s the same as his.
But he doesn’t.
He just sits there, rubbing my back, holding me close.
My shock brings a lump to my throat, but I swallow it down. Just because he knows how to make me feel safe doesn’t mean I am safe.
I can’t let this mean anything.
He kisses the top of my head, cradling it with one of his hands and bringing it to rest on his chest. His heartbeat is steady. Strong.
Fear shoots through me at the compassionate gesture. But there’s hope, too, and this time, I let it take over.
We stay there, his fingers tracing circles on my back, and I curl into the heat of his body. When my eyes droop and my body relaxes, he rocks me back and forth gently.
At some point, I have some vague moment of embarrassment, realizing I’m falling asleep before the sun has even set. But it’s overtaken by my inability to keep my eyes open.
When Alexander moves me under the covers, I barely open my eyes enough to watch him take my laptop and set it on his dresser. Then he leans over me, kissing my forehead, before mumbling something into my hair.
Something that sounds familiar. Warm.
But my mind is already drifting, and I don’t catch his words before sleep overtakes me.
I WAKE UP in a cocoon of warmth. Sun is streaming through the windows, and a heavy hand rests on my hip.
I can’t help the smile that creeps onto my face. I love sleeping in, and waking up in such a luxurious bed, with a mountain of pillows? Heaven.
And the man next to me?
Rolling over, I take in Alexander’s sleeping form. He looks so peaceful, so calm. All of the tension that’s usually in his jaw is missing, and his hair is a mess, falling onto his forehead in dark locks.
I could get used to this.
The thought enters my mind before I can put up a guard around my heart. I squeeze my eyes shut against the pain.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Alexander says in a deep, half-asleep voice. His hand snakes around my waist and pulls me closer to him.
I snuggle up to him, pressing a kiss to his chest. “Hi.”
He looks down at me, relaxed. Happy. Almost... relieved?
“I’ll never get enough of seeing you in my bed, Sophia.”
