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I picked his brain last night about my idea of addressing the comments I receive on a daily basis. He thought it was a good idea to talk about it. He still wants me to disable the comments on all my videos, but I told him no. I won’t make my followers suffer just because a few jackasses can’t keep their shit to themselves. Damon didn’t agree with my reasoning, he thought it was better for my mental health if I just stop them from saying anything altogether, but I told him I would try my best not to read them.
Just finished. Need to edit then upload it.
I spend the next few minutes texting Damon about his day. He talks about what he’s doing and I respond as if I understand, when really, I end up looking up most of what he talks about because I have no idea about any of it.
Damon loves his job, and from what I understand, he’s very good at it. I always knew I wanted to be with a man who had passion. I want someone who has the drive to succeed in something they love, just like I do. I adore what I do. Some might say it’s a hobby, something to take up my time until I figure out what I really want to do with my life, but what most don’t understand is that this is exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life. I love makeup, clothes, and hair products. I always have. So, it’s no surprise to me that having a career based around those things makes me happy.
I’ve spent the last few weeks slowly showing Damon what I do. At first, I was scared he would think it’s petty or stupid, but he listened. He wanted to know about the videos I make, about the brands I support, and the hard realities that come with this kind of career. When I started this, I never knew I could make money, let alone support myself. Yet, here I am, being paid each month for playing with makeup and trying out new products. It’s a dream.
“Hey!” I hear yelled from the front door. I smile, making my way out of my bedroom and into the living room where JJ struggles to hold a bunch of grocery bags.
“I got us some food. I saw we were out of…well, everything.” She gives me a look, and I smile gratefully—and a bit guiltily. Whenever I get in a zone of filming or editing, I usually forget to eat and/or get food for myself. JJ has been my savior in not letting me starve myself on accident.
“Thanks!” I help her with the bags, and we begin putting stuff away. I can sense that she’s waiting to tell me something, so I stop what I’m doing and turn to her.
“Spit it out,” I say, hand on my hip. She gives a confused cock of her eyebrow, and I chuckle.
“I know you need to tell me something, so I’m avoiding the hours of you stewing over the right way to bring it up and I’m just telling you to tell me.” She sighs heavily and sits down on a stool by the island.
“Liam asked me to move in with him.” She looks at the floor, and her fingers intertwine. I can see the whisper of a smile on her lips, and I know she’s super excited about it, but she’s hiding it for my sake.
“Really?” I ask as her eyes meet mine again. Her expression is happy but tentative, and I give her my biggest smile.
“I’m so happy for you!” I shout, rounding the island and bringing her to her feet and in for a hug. “You said yes, right?” I ask, pulling away from her as she nods and starts crying.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, holding her tightly. After a few seconds, she backs up and wipes away a stray tear.
“I don’t want to leave you,” she whispers, and I can’t help the laugh that escapes me.
“JJ, you are allowed to move on. You found a great guy who loves you more than anyone or anything, ever. It’s sickening, really.” She smirks, but I can still see the uncertainty in her eyes, so I tug her to sit on the couch across the room. Once we’re seated, I take her hands and look at her face.
“I know we’ve been roommates since we were nineteen, but I knew this day was coming,” I admit.
“You did?” she asks as if I can’t see the way Liam looks at her, or the fact that she hasn’t spent more than two nights in a row here since she and Liam started dating. I cock a brow, and she starts to laugh.
“Fine, I get it. But I don’t like leaving you all alone.” I’m grateful for the time JJ and I had together, but to be honest, I’m excited to have the place to myself. I can afford it now, and it will give me a chance to really grow my YouTube stuff and make it the business I know it can become.
“I promise you, I’ll be fine. Plus, your bedroom can now be my filming room, and I can get my room back.” I nudge her and see a smirk on her face. She knows I love her, but I also need to know that I can do this on my own. I’ve never been alone. My parents didn’t think I could do it, and after a while, I started to believe what they said. Now? Now, I want to prove that I can do this. That I can be independent and live my dream all at the same time.
JJ’s phone goes off, and she runs to answer it. From the way she leans against the counter, I can tell she’s talking to Liam, so I head back into my room and pull up the video I just filmed. It usually takes me a few hours to edit footage, but since I’ve never done a video like this where I just sit in front of the camera and talk, I have no idea how long this will take.
I’m an hour in when I hear a knock on my door. JJ’s head pops in. “I’m heading to Liam’s for a bit. Wanna meet for coffee around two?” I look at the clock and see that it’s just after noon. I nod my head.
“I should be done with this by then so, yeah, sounds good. Same place?” She agrees and shuts my door. I get lost in editing for the next hour, and when I’m done, I look it over one last time before I deem it ready. I title it: We need to talk. I hope it gets some clicks because of the mystery factor, but I really just want my followers to get what I’m so concerned about. I watch as I talk about the comments, my parents, and what it feels like to be on social media so openly. After the video is done, I upload it and wait for it to go live. When it does, I shut off my computer and head into the shower before I leave to meet JJ.
The video is amazing. You’re amazing, and I can’t wait to see you tonight.
I read the text when I get out of the shower, and I smile. Damon put notifications on his phone so he knows whenever I post a video, and I get a warm feeling inside that he’s proud of me.
Can’t wait to see you. Should I bring food?
Just bring your beautiful self, and we’ll figure out the rest.
I can’t help the smile that crosses my face as I text JJ and tell her that I’m headed to the coffee shop. I know I’m leaving early, but I figured I could get some people-watching in before she shows up.
Just as I shut my door, I start walking down the hall and feel that same uneasy feeling creeping up the back of my neck. As I turn my head to look behind me, something hard comes down on the top of my head.
Everything goes black.
