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15
Frank
Iwas standing outside the door, trying to figure out what the hell happened. One minute everything was going great with Amber. We had a week that was probably the most perfect I'd ever experienced in my life. I thought everything was perfect. Really perfect. I kept going back to the word perfect because there was nothing else that compared to it.
Then Caroline came back, and I had to spend some of my time away from Amber. It wasn't like I wanted that to be the case, but that's just how it was. I also had to get back to work, and now Amber was making it really hard to remember why it felt so great between us. It's not like I was completely dense and did not understand why she was upset, but it did not change the fact that there was nothing I could do about it.
So, when she hung up on me, I knew that it wouldn't be long until she was gone. Then how would I find her again? And even if I did, would she even talk to me? The only thing I could come up with to do was to go over to her house and try to explain it to her. How I was going to, what I was going to say, was all still a mystery to even me. The mystery wasn't going to matter if she wasn’t even going to answer the door for me. How had we gotten here so quickly? It usually took me longer in a relationship to really botch it up this bad.
When she didn't answer, I knocked a little harder and finally tried the doorknob. It was actually unlocked, and she wasn't too far from it when I opened it. I couldn't guarantee that she didn't realize that it was unlocked, either.
“You really shouldn't walk into people’s houses. I'm pretty sure there's laws about that.”
I didn't know if she was being serious or not. Her face held no emotions and it was not an expression that I cared for. I liked it better when she was looking at me with long-lost love. This, this was something altogether different. It was quite clear that she thought I was a liar. How did she know, though? How did Amber know so much without me even telling her?
“We really need to talk.”
She was just kind of standing there, and I finally told her that I could see her. It wasn't like she was camouflaged or something.
“What do you want? I think that we just finished our conversation on the phone, so why are you here?”
“Is that what you expect, that I'm just going to listen to what you had to say and not have anything to say back? As long as you’ve known me, Amber, I can’t believe that you would really think that.”
“I don’t know you at all, Frank.”
She paused for a moment, deciding something, and finally just asking me again what I was there for. “Just say what you’re going to say, Frank.”
“How about you start what with why all of a sudden you're acting this way?”
She blew out a breath and shook her head. “I just got in a little while ago and I am really tired. I wasn't lying about that. I don't lie like you do, Frank. I hung up the phone with you because I really wasn’t interested in continuing on with the conversation. I am still not.”
I just couldn't figure out what it was that she knew, that made her act that way. Could she know about Caroline, somehow? I had worried about telling her about Caroline because I thought that it might ruin things. Maybe it already had.
I would like to think that she would understand that it was something that I had to do. I was just confused. This didn't seem to make much sense to me, and I was the one that wanted answers now.
All I knew I could do at this point was come clean. It wasn't going to be pretty, but then maybe we could just move on. I could at least stop worrying about it. If she wasn't going to accept Caroline and the decisions that I had made, there wasn't really much I could do about it. There would be no more questions of what-ifs, it would just be what is.
“The way you're talking makes me think that you found out something about me and my home life.”
She shook her head. “Your home life? Is that when you call it? What exactly is this?”
I agreed that it was, but I couldn't see what exactly had her upset.
“Like I said, I don't know what it is that you think you know, but you should tell me so that we can talk it out.”
She looked really serious for a moment and wanted to know if she could ask me one question. One question didn't seem that bad. One question no matter what it was, I could deal with. And I told her that, of course, she could.
“Do you swear to me that you will actually answer me honestly?”
It seemed a little more important after making that promise, but I was still pretty sure that it was what I was going to do, anyway. I had nothing to lie about, after all. Nothing except Caroline, and Caroline could be easily explained. I kept hoping that it was all just going to work itself out.
“Yes, ask me whatever you want to ask me, and I will tell you the truth. I haven't lied to you yet.”
She scoffed at me and said that she knew better.
It took her several moments to formulate the perfect question in her mind. When she finally did say something, all I could think was that it was finally time to come clean. I had expected a five-part question, but that wasn’t the case at all. It was rather simple, and it was just another example of why I was so into her and her personality.
“Do you have a daughter?”
