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“That was different.”
I sat back in my chair. “I don’t see how.”
“Because, Night, you grew up in that world. It was the only option you were given, and that was a disservice to you. You forget, Night, that I grew up living in a pack without getting to be a part of that pack. It left me isolated and prevented me from forming any relationships I could’ve built, but it also sheltered me from those violent rituals. You grew up having to fight and dealing with a shit Alpha who ran the pack into the ground. I understand why you killed him, and I could never hold that against you.”
It still felt like she was just paying lip service to me, and I couldn’t look at her. I heard her step toward me, and saw her hands enter my field of vision as she touched my wrists.
“Hey, Night,” she touched her lips to my forehead, “you are nothing like Troy, and I’m so sorry that I made you think that you were. Even when you kidnapped me, I knew you were different, brave, strong.” She kissed me again. “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with the way you lead your pack, but I can’t be that kind of Alpha, even if it’s what you and others expect from me. If I want to do right by the Kings, I have to do right by me, too. Taking a life, even one as vile as Troy’s, goes against what I believe. And I don’t know if I could live with myself afterward.”
I looked up just as she was leaning forward. Instead of kissing my forehead, this time she kissed my nose, which was a pleasant surprise, even though we were still on opposite sides of this issue.
“What if you had killed him in the arena?” I asked. “Could you have lived with yourself then?”
She frowned as she considered my question. “Maybe. All I can say for sure is that I was raised to grow and cultivate life. That’s the type of Alpha I want to be.”
I sighed. I still didn’t like the fact that Bryn was going to leave Redwolf alive. But after talking with her, I understood that she was too good a soul to order the death of someone else. I realized that it was cruel of me to try and put her in that position, especially when it would hurt her so deeply. For now, I would just need to deal. Troy’s death, I knew, would come soon, and it would come swiftly. Until then, all I could do was keep a very close eye on those who were loyal to him.
I took Bryn’s hands and pulled her close. How could I think that someone with skin as smooth and soft as hers would be willing to end the life of another? “I’m sorry for trying to push you to do something you weren’t comfortable with.”
She gave me a small, warm smile. “It’s okay, I know you’re trying to protect me, and I love you for that.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to keep Troy’s men in cells of their own?”
Was it just me, or did she hesitate a beat too long after that question?
“Bryn?”
“Sorry. Yes, I’m sure. I think doing that would set a bad precedent. Unless they do something that’s actually illegal, I don’t see a reason to keep them locked up.”
“Fair enough, love.” I kissed her gently, but I didn’t agree. It felt like a bad idea, but I knew we’d go around in circles about it. “So, what do you need me to do while I’m here?” I asked. “What would be most helpful to you?”
Her eyes lit up. They were the bright, sunny blue of a summer’s day. “My current strategy is to gain the respect of the female wolves and to help get the pack lands back into good standing. I want to try and help them unlearn a lot of the sexist bullshit that the Redwolfs indoctrinated them into, and I think having high-ranking female members of the Wargs pack around will help me do that.”
“Makes sense.” I nodded. “And me?”
“Remember those destroyed cabins we saw the day after you claimed me? I let the men heading the reconstruction projects know that you’re available to help them rebuild. I don’t know how receptive they’ll be to it, but I let them know help was available. What do you think?”
“Divide and conquer.” I rubbed my chin. It was a sound plan. A very sound plan. “It’s solid. I think we’ll have a good shot at making this happen.”
She grinned and pressed closer to me. “I’m glad you think so, too.”
23
BRYN
Tavi and I had given each other plenty of space while I became more accustomed to the role I’d been given. As the days passed, I tried stopping by to see Tavi more than once, but she always said she wasn’t ready for a visit. I had something important to talk to her about, but she would just shake her head and give me that sad, distant smile that had replaced her usual beaming grin.
I tried speaking to Violet about Tavi the night before the Alpha ceremony, but she didn’t know much more than me.
“I can’t say, girlie,” she said with a sad shake of her head. The moment I mentioned Tavi’s name, her shoulders slumped, and she let out a long sigh laden with worry. “You would know more about what happened in those caves than any of us would.”
Violet couldn’t have meant it, but those words cut me deep. I didn’t know any of the specifics of what Tavi had been through; all I knew was that the experience had changed her. But I still loved her. She had been my first friend at the Wargs compound, and she had quickly become precious to me. It hurt to see her suffering like this and be unable to help her.
I couldn’t stand being apart from my best friend anymore.
“I know she keeps refusing to see you, Bryn,” Violet said. Her hands pulled apart her braid with deft, quick movements. Her long hair, crimped from the braid, fell over her shoulders like a silvery waterfall, covering the awful mark that Troy had left on her shoulder. “But don’t give up. She wants to see you, too, but she doesn’t think she’s ready.”
“She told you that?” I asked.
