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“How the hell do I know? I woke up from being unconscious, apparently married to a new guy after bashing in the head of the previous husband. You guys could have done anything…” My voice broke on that. I’d deliberately tried not to think about it unless I was talking to Ophelia. She assured me the same thing, that as an alpha, she could feel Kade’s animal and would have known if anyone had hurt him, but it just seemed so far-fetched, I couldn’t accept it.
“Flick…” Aidan moved to comfort me, but I shook my head wildly.
“No, no,” I said, holding out a hand. “No more kisses and cuddles and lulling me i
nto sweet oblivion. I want answers, not hot guys.”
Which made what came next weird.
Peter sighed and pulled off his shirt, then his hands went to the waistband of his jeans.
“What the hell?” I asked.
“It’s OK, Flick,” Aidan said. “This isn’t a sex thing.”
Except it was, in a way. He stepped out of his jeans, his underwear following quickly afterwards, and there it was—lying between his legs was the biggest dick I’d ever seen, and he was definitely not hard.
This is what they meant by Monster, I thought, my brain kind of fighting to put it all together. Monster cock.
And then it burbled up—a sense of relief and ridiculousness coupled with my previous fear, until my head spun with it all. It all made sense—his reluctance to let me see all of him naked, the pillow across his hips, and his leaping out of bed when he’d unconsciously ground into me. My lips jerked, as I wanted to laugh, cry, I dunno. The poor man was standing there, like a prisoner at a scaffold awaiting his sentence, and I wanted to giggle like a little girl. I let out a long sigh, and it felt like a million other things came out with it.
Then I walked towards him, something that had him shuffling back, but somehow, perhaps with the help of my beast, I was faster and caught him before he…what? Went streaking out of here? I put a hand on his wrist and the other on his waist when he didn’t flinch away. Because in a way, I knew what he felt.
I looked up into his eyes and was not surprised by what I saw—fear. He held himself there by will alone, waiting for me to make a judgement, pull away, reject him, something I found hard to believe he would expect. He was so fucking beautiful. His body was this big, powerful machine, but somehow, he was ashamed of it. I rubbed a hand down his side, just feeling that hot satiny skin for a moment, then opened myself up to the bond.
Revulsion and desire, fear and need, anger and frustration and a deep need to run, run, run thrummed through him. But in amongst it all was that self same deep, burning want for me. Something that humbled me constantly, from both of them. I looked up and saw Aidan nodding encouragingly, so I dropped my hand down, running my fingers along the line where Peter’s hip joined his thigh. I stared up at the big man, asking the question with my eyes before my hand moved closer.
He trembled beneath my touch, but he nodded, just slightly, and I could hear the rapid intake of his breath when I took him in my hand.
It’d been a long time since I’d watched porn. Sexual desire was one of the first casualties in an abusive relationship, but I’d seen enough to know he was pretty damn impressive. Especially as, when I brushed the back of my hand along his length, he began to thicken. Emboldened, I let my fingers encircle his shaft, unable to close them around him, and then slid my fingers down. Peter’s groan was immediate, his hand going to my shoulder, the fingers scoring my skin as I sped up the caress.
“Mum?”
We both froze at the sound being called out from the lounge room, and my hand moved away instantly.
“I’ll go,” Aidan said. “Stay here, work this out. She’s your mate, Pete. It’s time to let her in. Take your time. I might take Kade around to Mila’s for a bit, yeah?”
Peter just nodded, while I felt a pang. What kind of mother was I? I’d just left Kade out there, wondering what the hell was going on, while I was hiding away in here, jerking off my mate?
“Parents are sexual creatures,” Ophelia had said when I’d voiced concerns about this before. “We acknowledge that freely here, but it is not something children are exposed to, nor should they. As long as a child’s needs are met, they are safe, seen, and cared for, a parent shouldn’t feel guilty for indulging their sensual natures away from the child at appropriate times. It’s part of what works so well for our packs. There’s always someone to care for our children, even if some other members are pulling a nooner.”
I frowned, closing my eyes for a moment and feeling the guilt rise.
Kade does not need you right now, but your mate does, my Tirian said.
I waited until the excited shout and the stampede of footsteps died away, replaced by the opening and closing of the front door. We were alone now.
“On the bed,” I said.
I watched him move as he did so, a picture of power, the full extent of his charms now evident and lying rigid against his stomach.
“This is what worries you? Why they call you Monster?” I said, standing by the bed but trailing my fingers up his hip. I got a short nod. “You think you’re too big?”
“I know I am. Flick…I’ve hurt girls in the past.”
“And you don’t want to hurt me.” I nodded, understanding it now. Those muppets at the shed, they’d said they were the pre-show. “Those guys, they were your friends?”
“We grew up together.”
