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“Maybe. She’s done it to some of the others. I know she’s a tough old stick, but she’s good, trust me. She’s helped many of us get past painful things. It could be worth a try.”
He was easier to look at in the gloom, with only imprecise details of his face picked out by the moonlight.
“OK, I guess I’d feel ungrateful if I turned her down.”
“Don’t do it for that reason. Do it for you.”
What an alien concept, I thought
“Are you coming in?” Kade said. “We’ve still got to finish Return of the Jedi.”
“Is that OK, Flick?”
He watched me closely, as if wanting to catch my every reaction.
“Please, Mum?”
“It’s fine.” I tested that idea in my mind before nodding. It was. That felt strange, that I’d feel more comfortable with an almost stranger than my own husband, but it remained true the longer I looked at it. “We won’t be long for bed, anyway.”
I was surprised to see that Peter wasn’t home when we got in. Aidan made us tea as Kade got the DVD ready. He put my cup on the coffee table and then sat back down on the floor with my son.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “I’ve been a mad Star Wars fan since I was a kid.”
“Hey, it’s fine,” I said with a smirk.
I didn’t really want the tea, but I needed something to do. It was good to see Kade relax, share his love of sci-fi epics with the man, but every moment of pleasure came with an unfortunate reminder. Had he ever relaxed like this with Rick? His father certainly hadn’t been interested in Kade’s obsessions, always redirecting him to me, politely or not so politely. While he’d been pleased enough to hear he was having a son, that was almost the highlight of the whole experience for him.
I watched the two of them as they watched the TV, as fascinated by their actions as they were of the character on the screen. Aidan was a natural with Kade—easy, engaged, open. I wasn’t surprised when I saw Kade sidle up and place his head on the man’s arm.
“Are you getting tired, Kade?” I asked.
“No!”
This was, of course, punctuated by a loud yawn.
“C’mon, love. Time for bed,” I said, getting to my feet in a series of stiff movements. “You can watch more DVDs with Aidan tomorrow.”
Shit, I thought. I should have asked if that was OK.
“Really?” Kade said.
“I’d like that,” Aidan replied to me, not my child. “C’mon, mate, time to brush your teeth.”
Wide-eyed, I watched my son walk off to the bathroom without the usual litany of complaints, but when I turned back, Aidan stood before me.
“Flick, we…we didn’t really want to leave you alone here. You’re perfectly safe,” he said in a rush when he saw my expression. “Pete’s just had to go and do something for a bit, but we can go back home, if you’d prefer.”
I looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time. I could tell polygamy was a common thing here by the architecture. The house was much bigger than ours was, with multiple bedrooms, presumably for growing families, along with the huge beds. I tried to imagine just Kade and I knocking around in here, and the space felt cavernous.
But I needed to stand on my own two feet, check in with my son. He had attached himself to Aidan since I’d woken up, which was worrying in itself. He was a stranger, and he preferred him to his own mother?
Does he resent me for what happened? Does he blame me? Those ideas smashed into me bodily, leaving me reeling from the implications. I looked at Aidan, saw him shifting uncomfortably as he waited for me to reply. I felt both a gratitude that he’d stepped up when I couldn’t, and a resentment that he’d had to, followed quickly by a swirl of guilt.
You should have left long before this happened. You shouldn’t have let it get this bad. You should have protected Kade. You could have gone back to the city with him. Now your son prefers to be with complete strangers. Aidan’s just trying to help, and you’re getting all pissy and—
I jumped when I felt the hand on
my arm, and I was even more surprised to see it was Aidan’s.
