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I heard my Tirian’s growl of frustration inside my head.
You can’t fucking force this, I snapped at her.
I force nothing. You want him, want to see his strong body, push down his pants and…
Not yet, I said, pulling my hand away. I’m not ready.
Then soon.
10
“I don’t think that’s edible.”
We all stood around the kitchen, looking at the burned mess Aidan had created in the fry pan. He’d said he could make scrambled eggs. He was wrong. I surveyed the broken shells and milk and splatter over the counter.
“I did offer,” I said, feeling a hollow ache in my chest at the disarray. Rick was god knows where, in whatever state I’d left him in, but surveying the chaos made my chest tighten until my breath became shallow pants. Which is perhaps why Peter put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a rub.
“How about you take Flick and Kade down to the hall to get a meal? I’ll clean this up,” he said.
“But don’t you—?” I asked.
I stopped myself. I was not going to whine like a little girl because someone I’d only just met was staying behind.
“That OK, Flick?” Aidan asked.
"Yes, of course,” I said with a smile. “I’ll just need to get dressed.”
You should’ve said no, I thought as I stood in front of the bedroom mirror.
I was a mess of bruises across my face and down my neck, my nose still swollen. I lifted the scrubs top gently, partly due to protesting muscles, partly due to not wanting to see what was underneath.
And I didn’t particularly want others to see it either.
Would their eyes skate past the injuries, ignoring my bald stare until they found a spot of clear skin they could focus on? Would their smiles be polite, while their eyes indicated they wanted to get as far away from me as possible? I paused and watched the fear rise in my eyes, followed by a greenish sheen.
I jerked the shirt off. It hurt me physically as much as it did mentally. I just stood there, the top hanging limply in my fingers and just stared.
This is him telling you just what he thought of you.
My eyes took in the static fireworks of bruises up and down my body, explosions that had gone off long after I’d stopped him kicking. He’d gone easy on Kade, I realised. Not enough, never enough, but if he could wreak this kind of devastation on me… My fists balled, my eyes flaring bright green.
He will never get his hands on Kade again.
For once, my wolf’s and my thoughts were one and the same.
This is why we stay, this is why we take mates, strong mates, she insisted.
And how will that make me strong?
You are already strong.
For a moment, I was transported back to that bloody lounge room, my husband lying on the carpet, staining it with his blood. I stalked towards him, my fingers gripping tighter around the ashtray.
You have survived everything. My flashback jumped abruptly back to where I saw myself being beaten into oblivion by Rick. What does the opinion of a few strangers mean?
I ignored the pain now, having to grit my teeth hard as I stripped off the rest of my clothes to stop from crying out. I turned and inspected it, all of it. It burned into my memory, every lash, every cut, and every bruise.
These are battle scars. Walk into that hall the warrior you are.
