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“Good, my mother is having another freak-out. I told her we’re moving things up this morning.”
I gasp. “The invitations just came in. We were going to send them out this weekend.”
“We’ll have them reprinted. I’ll make sure they’re rushed. Listen, I’m taking the day off. Delta will be by to go over all the updates for the wedding. I was thinking once she’s gone, we could go for a stroll on Rockaway Beach. Maybe have dinner or something.”
“That sounds nice,” I reply.
It truly does, but it’s only going to cause me to lose another piece of my heart. I can’t say I’m excited about that.
“Everything okay?”
“Yes, I have a bit of a headache. It’s probably from all the champagne last night.”
He kisses the top of my head. “Um, maybe we can take a rain check on the date. I’ll make you some soup and we can spend the day in.”
“I don’t want to ruin your plans.”
He turns my face up and pecks my lips. “Go back to bed, I’ll handle Delta. You rest and we’ll decide from there. Sound good?”
He searches my face, waiting for an answer. If I wanted a man like this in my real life, I’d never be able to find him. Now, I have the perfect man and it’s all a ruse.
Story of my life.
Chapter 35
Going too Far
Sidney
I look in the mirror, trying to figure out who I’m staring at. I’ve found myself doing this a lot lately. I thought I knew who I was, but now I’m not so sure. Is love supposed to do this?
I blink at my tears. I should be happy, right? I’m getting married, there’s an actual wedding license involved. I went to apply for it myself, along with my fiancé.
A fiancé I love. A man who I’ve fallen so deeply in love with, I don’t know how I intend to live without him. Yet, this wedding is a joke.
I’m still trying to figure out how it all became real. There was an engagement party two weeks ago once Chloe and Gregor returned. A bridal shower followed that a week later and then Clayton decided the wedding needed to move up.
My head is still spinning. I never thought we’d go through with it. All wasted money as far as I was concerned because the day would never happen.
Now, my heart aches because I want it to be real. Every morning when I wake to those intense eyes, I think of what it would be like to do this for the rest of my life. Sometimes, when he kisses me, I allow myself to believe he wants the same thing.
“I’ve lost control,” I whisper.
“No, you haven’t.” I jump when Chloe’s voice startles me.
I turn to find her standing on the threshold of my closet, watching me. A tear slips at the sight of her. My friend was going through so much and I had no idea. Another indication I’ve lost my way.
“Stop it, Sid.” She moves into the closet and sits on the bench beside me, bumping me with her hip so I’ll give her more room. “I can hear you thinking. What I had going on had nothing to do with you. If I wanted to involve you, I would have. It was something I needed to handle by myself.”
“What are we doing?” I choke out. “What have they done to help our situations? Why should I go through with this?”
She looks down at her lap, I can feel her sadness even through mine. We’ve shared so much pain and heartache over the years. I once believed we were beyond days like this.
“Sid, I’ve always seen you as the stronger one. When I had to make hard decisions, I made them with you in mind. How you would handle it, how you would survive it all.
“I teased you all the time for not needing a man, but I know why I never sought out a relationship. In my mind, I was still circling the one that got away.
“However, you, you were content in being by yourself. You weren’t hung up on some guy and you didn’t need to be. You know what I see when I look at you now?” She pauses to look up at me.
“A pathetic excuse of the old me,” I scoff.
“No.” She shakes her head. “I know you’re the stronger one. I see my friend in love. You’ve fallen for him. With all our fucked-up shit that should have us scared to reach for the stars, you’ve reached past all that shit and grabbed hold of them.”
“What good is any of that if he doesn’t love me back?”
“I said you were the stronger one, not the smarter one.” She chuckles. “Have you not seen the way that man looks at you?”
“He’s playing the role,” I huff.
“Okay, you believe that if you want.” She twists her lips at me.
