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He has candles lit all over the dining and living room. We eat by candlelight and then move into the living area in front of the fire. I’m full and ready for another nap.
However, I wouldn’t want to move for anything in the world. I sit straddling Clay’s lap with my legs around him. He has his hands palming my ass as he nuzzles my nose with his.
This is more intimate than the sex we had in the pool. As much as I want to deny my feelings for him, that’s becoming harder by the day.
“What are you thinking about?” he murmurs.
“I picked an editor for my book. I’m excited for the next steps,” I reply to keep from saying something stupid.
“I’m so proud of you. This is a big step up from the blog.”
“Yeah, it is. It’s scary, but I’m glad I’m doing it. I just feel super vulnerable. You know what I mean?”
“That makes sense, you’re putting a part of yourself out there. That can’t be easy. I admire you even thinking about it.”
I cup his face and smile. Kissing his lips, I then pull back and stare into his eyes. A pang of jealousy comes with my next thought.
“Your wife will be a lucky woman.”
“Yes, she will.”
“Ugh, you don’t have to be so cocky about it.”
He runs his hands up my back as he stares into my eyes and breathes me in. I look away from the intensity in his gaze. It’s pulling at all my emotions.
“I know for a fact I plan to spoil my wife. She will be the best-cared-for woman on this earth. I plan to make all her dreams come true. For as long as I have breath in my body, she will know she’s loved.” He shrugs. “My wife is very lucky.”
I narrow my eyes at him. There’s something in his words that tugs at my brain. It’s more than the jealous fit I want to throw.
He pecks my lips. “Stop overthinking, Sid.”
“I’m not overthinking. I’m just wondering what your future wife will think about all of this. Our fake engagement, the wedding we’ve planned.”
His face shuts down. I can’t read him like I normally can. “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” I say softly.
“No, I haven’t.”
I tilt my head to the side and study him. Something tells me not to push with this subject. If this were real, I would pry, but Clayton owes me nothing. He can keep his secrets. I’ll leave something for his future wife.
Chapter 23
Opening Up
Sidney
It’s a lovely day, so we decided to take a walk on the back of Clay’s property by the lake. He has my hand in his as he brushes the back with his thumb.
The motion is calming and draws me in. I haven’t had this in a relationship in a long time. Not that this is a relationship. I constantly have to remind myself of this.
“When was the last time you spoke with your mother?”
I frown and tug my hand away from his hold to wrap my middle with my arms. He places his hand on my back and starts to rub up and down. It’s that comfort he offers that makes me open up.
“Not long after I graduated college. I thought she’d be proud of me. I wanted to share the moment with her. It took me weeks to get up the nerve to go,” I reply.
He tugs me into his side and tightens his hold. I lean my head against his side.
“She was so fucked up. I don’t think she knew who I was or even cared.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“I know that had to hurt. Sometimes all you want is for your parents to tell you they’re proud of you. That had to sting.”
I shrug. “I got over it.”
We continue to walk in silence for a bit. He takes my hand back into his as I release my arms from around my middle.
“So you moved in with Chloe after her mother died? To help with Ally, right?”
“Yeah, we lived in East New York, but Ally started running with gang members, so we moved to Clinton Hills trying to get her away from all that.
“It wasn’t that far, but it was the best we could do. When the boy she was crushing on was murdered, we thought that would be the end of it, but Ally is Ally. I think she fell in deeper because we told her not to. It took a few years before we could move into a place in Manhattan. A lot changed then.”
“You guys were so young yourselves. I admire Chloe and you for sticking in there with her.”
“That’s my ride or die. You know, I wouldn’t have come to your club if not for her.”
He winks at me. “I know.”
“Which is why you sent the invitations to her. You think you’re so slick,” I bump his hip with mine.
