Page 38 of A Million to Blow


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“I don’t know what I would have done without her. I think my love of numbers and learning came from Chloe’s mom. We never had much, but she made it her business to show us it didn’t have to stay that way.

“To this day, I don’t speak to my mom much. Her devastation ate her alive. I’ve always hoped that someday she’d come back, and I would have my mom again. Especially in the past year.” She falls silent, still staring up at the ceiling.

I don’t say a word. I’m lost in my own thoughts. My own problems seem to pale next to the life Sidney has been through. Yet, I feel the need to share.

“Everyone has always seen my family as picture perfect.” I frown, placing her right foot back down on my stomach, switching to her left. “The money, the connections. My parents come from deep pockets and old money.

“If you talk about money, yes, we had the perfect life, but emotionally, not so much. My father is a hard man to love. It’s his way or no way. My brothers and I never really got to be children. We had to be responsible for all our actions.

“There wasn’t room for mistakes, flaws, or failure. For as long as I can remember, I’ve known to be accountable for my actions. I’ve never run free and gotten dirty like most little boys.

“Running could cause wrinkles or sweaty clothes, or God forbid a scrape from a fall. We never knew when our father would need us picture perfect, so we never did a thing to force a hair out of place. I hated it, I wanted to break free.

“Then, as a teenager, I let my guard down for just a moment.” I pause to get my anger in check. “My father used my most vulnerable moment to teach me the greatest lesson of my life. I was left to become my own man, so I did. I haven’t let my guard down since.”

This time I’m the one who falls silent, lost in my thoughts of the past. I still hold so much resentment from that time in my life. It shaped me to be the man I am today.

Water splashing brings me back to the present. When I focus, I see Sidney has pulled her foot free from my hold and now both of her knees are pulled into her chest. She’s watching me, assessing me.

I’m not ready for her to see into my darkness. I close the shutters, making my face impassive. I take control of the moment, steering the conversation back to her.

“You say you have a love for numbers. What made you get into the finance world?” I question.

Her eyes light up and her shoulders relax. I reach out for her legs, pulling them to drape over mine. I need the connection. I can’t help stroking her soft skin.

“Sometimes, I just didn’t want to go home. Ms. Sinclair worked so hard, I didn’t want to be in her house all the time, though she didn’t mind. I did, though, so I’d spend a lot of time in the center. Old Man Petey used to play chess with some of the older kids. One day I asked could I play.

“Now, if you played with Petey, you had to be ready to talk and learn. He expected you to hold a real conversation. He would talk about the stock market with me. I had to research whatever we talked about and come back with updates for our next game. If you tried to bullshit him, he’d tell you to get up from his table.

“I loved to play, and I loved to talk to him about stocks. I soaked it all up. By the time Chloe and I were in high school, I had a thing for flipping money. I would take the little money Chloe’s mom would give us as an allowance and I’d turn it into two to three times the amount we started with.” Her eyes sparkle with this memory.

Loving the way she speaks of learning to play chess, I venture further into the path. I continue to release the cool water and add warm, until our pruney skin forces us from the comfort of the tub. I learn about Sidney from every word spoken, every gesture made, and every single emotion her expressive eyes reveal.

By the time I dry her off with a towel—before wrapping her in it and carrying her to bed—I know one thing for certain. I’m beyond captivated by this woman. Her mind and her big heart are a dangerous combination. Yet, I don’t think I want to stop the collision that’s on course to happen.

Chapter 14

No Worries

Sidney

“Good morning,” Clayton croons as he leans in and pecks my lips.

He smells great and so does this kitchen. He’s cooking again. I can’t help the smile that comes to my face. He’s shirtless and has on gray sweatpants. Gray sweatpants that come with a nice view from either side.

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