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I winced. “Cam’s tour wasn’t,” I managed weakly.
“Cam’s ex-military. There’s hierarchy there, based on his leadership of those guys in life-and-death situations. Plus, Cam is the band, and his musicians know it. My band is more traditional. Jax, Tatum, and Bridger are all at least five years older than me and had been living the lifestyle before they joined me. While the songs are mine, and that powers the band, they’re right to have huge egos. So, we’ve had an understanding since I signed them that summer in Seattle. They do them after shows—which includes all those things I mentioned—and I do me, which was typically to head back to my suite or a private bus and drink by myself.”
He scooted a bit closer. “I’ve never been interested in their parties, so me not attending won’t be a change. And when you tour with me, we’ll do it our way anyway.”
“And what will that entail?”
He winked. “We’ll skip the booze and pills. But I’m definitely sexing you up.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to create unnecessary temptation.”
Nash chuckled. “You are my temptation.” He nodded toward the glasses. “This is a little test—that I’m doing for me. This is a safe environment. I need to know how I’ll react, and I really want you to enjoy your lunch.”
“But—”
He raised my hand and kissed my palm. I shivered at the soft feel of his lips. Oh, how I wanted this man.
“No buts.” He lowered my hand to the table. “I have to manage my addiction,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone.
With that, he caught the eye of the staff and nodded.
For the next three hours, Nash and I nibbled our way through a delicious array of foods. I ate a salad of local greens, pecans, and blue cheese served with a muscat-chenin blend, followed by grilled chicken over a creamy pasta that paired remarkably with the viognier. I tried mushroom and truffle oil soup with a rich cabernet sauvignon. And between each course, Nash and I talked.
He caught me up on his friendship with Hugh—how Hugh had been the only one of his friends to fly to Paris for Pop Syad’s funeral, how Hugh had shown up at the house they were renting and stayed with him after the San Francisco fiasco.
He asked me about my courses, my time at university, and my position at the electric car company. He frowned. “Why not aerospace engineering?”
I paused; a bite of lemon meringue pie stalled halfway to my mouth. I set the fork down and sighed, not wanting to get into another heated exchange.
He seemed to realize where the conversation was headed because his shoulders tensed, and his eyes shut.
“No, Nash. That wasn’t anything to do with you. There isn’t a strong aerospace engineering program at Imperial College, and I was too…” I looked away. “I was so worried people would see me as your castoff that I didn’t want to be in the US. I’m the one who gave that up, with some wheedling from my father. I found out recently that he skimmed off a good portion of the hefty donation he said he used to pay Imperial College to accept me so late in the year. He manipulated and swindled me from the beginning, and I… Even after I began to suspect that, I wasn’t ready for the responsibility of that wealth or taking care of myself. It was easier to just go with the flow.”
Nash’s turbulent eyes narrowed as fury settled over his face, but instead of pursuing the topic further, he said, “You done?”
I licked my lips. “Yeah. I really can’t eat any more.”
“Then let’s get out of here.”
I followed him out of the tasting room. “You don’t have to take care of me, Nash, or take my choices on your shoulders,” I told his stiff back.
He pushed through the door and out of the building, then faced me, both of us blooming with sweat as the heat hit us.
“But that’s just it, Aya. I fucked up your life. Just like my mother’s inability to remain sober fucked up mine.” He turned away. “I’m just so sick of other people’s decisions continuing to cause problems.”
13
Nash
Aya seemed to be mulling that over as we waited for my car. “What if I make you a deal?” she asked.
“What’s that?”
She looped her arms around my neck, and her breasts slid along my chest. I stifled a groan as my hands found her hips. Her pupils dilated, and her gaze dropped to my lips. At least she was as affected as I was by our proximity.
“What if I apply to the engineering school and work on my master’s degree?”
I slid my hands up past her ribs to the underside of her breasts and back down. Touching her like this was unadulterated bliss. I wanted her naked, in my bed.
