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I tipped my chin down so I could better hear her.
“I’m beginning to understand how my father and his wife manipulated my emotions to get what they wanted from me, which was money, by the way. I just want to belong somewhere, to feel like I have a home.” She sucked in a huge breath and tilted her head back and met my gaze. “I’ve always felt insecure—or I have for a long while. I was so scared you’d leave me after you signed that record deal that I saw what I believed was true. I don’t like that I did that—to either of us. And I don’t like where that caused us to go. So that’s all on me. Just like running away without giving you a chance to explain is on me. I…I need to own that, my mistakes. My fears. And that means I have to tell you how I’m feeling.”
I looked at her, nose to nose. “I made choices, too, Ay. We’ve both let our fears, our history with others fuel our actions.” My eyes widened. “He’s a fucking genius,” I whispered.
“Um…what?”
“Johnny Reznick.”
She scrunched up her nose, her eyes drifting off as she tried to place the name. “The lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls?”
I smiled. Could there be a more perfect woman for me? Music might be my passion, but Aya had absorbed everything I’d told her—and more since, I was sure. My love of music was a part of her, just as her fascination with physics was part of me.
“Yeah, he’s the songwriter for the band, too. In his song ‘Come to Me’ there’s this line that I thought was glib, but… In the second verse, he talks about history being an anchor.” I blew out a breath. “Like I was to you. I let the weight of my past pull us down.”
“Like gravity…” She sucked that luscious lower lip into her mouth, her gaze going soft. Aya began to sing the chorus. Her voice was soft and true.
I shivered, running my hands up her arms. “I need your secrets, Ay. Just like you need mine, even when hearing them is painful. I won’t love you less for living while we were apart.”
Her lips pursed. “You sure about that?”
I dropped my forehead against hers. “Yes.”
“Is this going to be more annoying than when you messed with my books?”
“I won’t do that ever again,” I said. “I understand the need for hard limits better.”
“What do you mean?”
I pursed my lips. “That time I played my guitar while you were trying to watch that MIT thing on the space-sound continuum?”
She frowned. “You intentionally played louder so I couldn’t hear Stephen Hawking.” She glared up at me, her eyes glowing amethyst against the Texas summer sun. “I’m still mad at you about that.”
“And I was pissed the day you wore that tiny bikini to that pool when we were staying in Memphis. It was a fucking joke, Aya, and all the guys from that frat were staring at your tits, making comments about your ass… I wanted to murder every one of them.”
She smiled. “I could get another bikini…if you’ll watch all the Stephen Hawking videos with me quietly.”
“As long as I’m the only one who sees you in it.” I stepped closer and nuzzled the tender skin behind her ear. “And take it off you.”
She shivered against me, her breasts rubbing against my T-shirt. She pushed up on her tiptoes, and I brought my mouth down to cover hers. Kissing Aya made little fireworks of pleasure explode through my body, and instantly I wanted more.
I pulled back. “Mama Grace is going to insist you stay here until we have a formal commitment.”
She cupped my cheek. “I’ve never been the best at following rules.”
I tipped my head back and guffawed. Aya giggled with me even as she snuggled against my chest.
“Aya, you were made to follow the rules,” I said, tucking her hair behind her ear.
“Maybe I’m turning over a new leaf—letting you lead me astray.” She gazed at me from under her lashes, which caused my dick to perk up.
“Mmm... That’s a fun narrative. How far are you willing to go?” I murmured.
She pressed her delectable body tighter against mine. I loved her there, but I wanted more. I wanted to be inside her. No, not yet, I chastised myself.
“Pretty far.”
With that, my resolve cracked. I needed Aya, badly. I bent down, planning to scoop her up and take her to the barn, where I’d drop her in the hayloft and fuck her for hours.
