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“I’m sorry I acted vague, but this wasn’t something I planned on telling you. Our past is too complicated, and I know you don’t feel the same.”
“Hang on,” Violet interrupted. “You can’t know that.”
“Why would you like someone you were enemies with a month ago?”
“Why would you?”
“So … what are you saying?” Charlie’s eyes flickered over to hers before he pulled them to the road again.
“I’m saying I … probably feel the same.”
Charlie stared stubbornly ahead, but she wondered if he wanted to glance over at her. The eye contact would be too much. If her eyes met his, she might explode.
“How long?” Charlie asked, his voice rough.
Violet thought about it. “Honestly? I can’t answer that. I think back to the last few weeks, and there’s not a moment where I started liking you. And if I go back to before, as painful as it is, there was some part of me that still wanted your attention. So maybe it’s been the whole time.”
Charlie was silent, then he uttered a quiet, “Me too.”
“Seriously? Since college?”
“Yeah.” Charlie was silent for a moment. Then he took a deep breath and continued. “Lewis figured it out pretty quickly, but he said years of fighting can’t be erased in a few weeks.”
Violet sighed. Her heart screamed, telling her this was wrong, but her heart had lead her down some bad paths before.
“And you agree?”
“I think I do. You?”
“Yeah,” Violet said softly. “This sucks. The first time a guy and I are on the same page and it’s to not be together.”
“Maybe someday. When we’re more settled.”
Her heart told her they were settled now. They had talked out their whole mix-up of feelings without so much as a raised voice. They had made so much progress, so why not throw caution to the wind and say fuck it?
Pain, her head reminded her. Pain was why she needed to stay cautious. Elijah had hurt, but this was so much more than some guy she had seen for a few weeks. This was Charlie Davis. The man who had occupied her mind for six years. The man who she had fought with and screamed at, only for her soul to be longing for him with every word. If this went downhill, she didn’t think she could recover.
“But we’re friends, right?” Charlie asked. “Friends who hang out still and don’t make something like this weird?”
“Yeah," Violet said, trying to push past the emotions she felt. “Nothing has changed, so it’s not weird. I think it would be worse if neither of us felt it. We’re in this dumpster fire together.”
Charlie sighed, looking as miserable as she felt. Violet glanced out of the window of the car, feeling her emotions still raging inside of her.
“You’re going to Micah’s party tomorrow, right?” She asked, changing the subject before she started crying. “It should be fun.”
“Yeah, I am. We can ride together if you want," Charlie said. “Saves on gas.”
“I bet parking is going to be a nightmare. Micah has one of those fancy apartments with weird parking garages. We should save the stress and carpool. It’s what friends do, right?”
“Right. Friends. What else would we be?”
So much more, her heart screamed. You could be so much more.
Chapter Eighteen
Charlie
It would have been easier if she had turned him down.
