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Even though I know the attention would make you wanna hide.
Holding your hand, confessing all my darkest secrets and emotions too.
Making you smile and love me until we are cold and blue.
Writing down some more lyrics as I wait for my refill, I glance over my shoulder and Cara is headed my way. I quickly stuff the napkin in my pocket and stand, thanking the bartender as she hands it over.
“So, I don’t think I can ever call you brother. It’s just too weird,” Cara says with a soft giggle. Her hair blows when the AC kicks on and I grab her hip, pulling her to my chest for a hug. “I agree, you will always be my shortcake.” I kiss the top of her head and ignore the gasp from her lips. Connor comes our way and I release her with a sigh, stepping back.
“Hey Memphis, can I steal Cara for a second?” he asks me, giving me a fist bump. I nod, and he takes her hand, pulling her from me. She looks back over her shoulder and gives me a small smile. I nod my chin at her and grab my hat from the counter. I need to leave, I need to get away from this. I need to get back to Nashville before I allow any cracks to slip through my mask. She can never be mine, and she can be happy with someone else. It’s time I let her go and moved on.
Twenty-Nine
Carson
A week has passed since seeing Memphis, and I don’t like how awkward we left things. Something is going on with him and I don’t know what. He used to tell me everything, and now he won’t even answer my calls or texts. I know he has Dolly, which is odd all on it’s own since he’s never been serious about someone before, but I’ll always be here for him. No matter what. My door slams open, and I scream. Penny and Ella stand there in all black with bags in their hands, “What is going on?” I ask, but they don’t answer. Ella strides over to where I am lying and pulls some handcuffs from her pocket, before shoving a sack over my head. She flings me to my stomach and laughs, probably noticing my pretty revealing satin PJ set. My hands are twisted and cuffed as she leans closer so Penny doesn’t hear. “Welcome to Hell, bitch.”
I stop struggling and sigh. I guess Hell Week has arrived.
Strong arms grip me, tossing me over a shoulder. I’m jolted as they jog down the stairs and out the door. The warm breeze hits my bare skin and I shiver. “Toss her with the others, thanks babe,” Penny says. I land on a hard surface that knocks the wind from my lungs. “Was that really necessary?” I moan, and someone smacks me. “Shh, no talking or we’ll get punished.” I freeze, realizing I’m surrounded on all sides.Well, at least I’m not alone.
Someone lands next to me making me jump. A vibration starts beneath me and the ground moves. I guess we’re in a vehicle. A radio blasts a song I’m not familiar with, and someone yells, “Okay bitches it’s time for you to learn all the words to this song by the time we reach our destination. If you don’t you'll get a mark, if you get more than three marks, you will not become a sister.” Some girls giggle, and I sigh. I can only imagine what they plan to do to us, this song is beyond graphic. It’s literally a girl saying ‘can you come fuck me’. I listen to the lyrics and try to remember them. I can admit the tune is catchy. Thank god I’ve always been good at memorizing lyrics.
We drive around so long, my ears feel like they’re bleeding. The other girls got into it and started to sway and sing with the music. I assume whoever is with us is wearing earplugs because some of them can’t carry a tune. I mouth the words to save my voice and try to find my happy place. My butt has gone numb and my arms are starting to throb. Ella made these cuffs way too tight.
Finally we stop, and I sigh. “Okay bitches that was horrible. I have a migraine now and need a drink.” The door slides open and someone grabs me, tugging me out into the warm air once more. The AC was on full blast so I welcome the heat for once. I’m shoved forward until my feet hit a blockage. “You are coming to a set of stairs, carefully move your feet and step up.” someone whispers in my ear. Shivers run down my spine and I sigh with relief. I know that voice. “East?” I say in a quiet breath. He gently grips my hip and squeezes twice. I relax a little and follow instructions. We reach the top and I’m turned around. “For what it’s worth, I never wanted to hurt you,” he whispers in my ear, before pressing his lips gently to the back of my neck. “Then why did you?” I ask, but he steps away. The bag is ripped from my head and I blink at the bright light. The cuffs are removed and East runs his finger gently over my wrists. It stings and his eyes fill with anger. I shake my head at him discreetly and he sighs, moving back to stand behind me. I get a good look at where we are and bite my lip to prevent my laugh. We drove around so long, listening to that song and all we did was end up in front of Kippa House. I shake my head and look at the other pledges beside me. They are all wearing PJs and glancing out at the growing crowd. Some of the guys are in their boxers with masks on their faces holding plungers. I assume they are the pledges for Hawthorne House. I take each of them in and laugh once I reach Connor and Xavier. They’re supposed to be inconspicuous, but no one can hide the smooth caramel skin of Xavier or the eight pack and perfect ‘V’ of Connor.What is with the plungers?
Penny moves in front of us in a sexy, satin, black nightgown. Hair and makeup perfect, while we all look like we’ve been rode hard and put away wet. I roll my eyes and wait for whatever nonsense we have to do. She turns to face the crowd and I cringe at what she says, “Hey everyone. Welcome to the official first night of Hell week. As you know it’s tradition for the first task to be one of public humiliation, so let’s get started then we can party.” The crowd cheers and I take a step back. East places his palm in the middle of my spine, gently pushing me back in line. Penny faces us once more with an evil smile on her face. “Okay bitches, listen up. I want you to give these men a show. You will come forward one by one and sing whatever portion of the song we play for you. If you get it wrong you get a mark. If you get three or more marks this week, you’re out of here. Doesn’t matter who your daddy is, or if you're a legacy.” She glances my way and gives me a wink. “Welcome to Hell Week, bitches.”
e
Penny stomps into the room in a fuzzy robe and matching heeled slippers. “Okay ladies follow me,” she says, before walking off towards the den. We follow with a few of the other girls behind us in matching attire. We’re down to half of the girls we started off with this week. It’s been grueling to say the least. “I thought this was a sleepover?” a shy redhead asks me. I just shrug my shoulders and keep quiet. This week of hell has been, well, hell. I guess that's why it's called Hell Week. I thought the wake up call was going to be the worst thing, but on Monday I had to hand wash all of the girls' underwear. Yeah, some of these girls are nasty. On Tuesday we had to deliver hand baked goodies to the Hawthorne House in a French maid costume. Jase and Layton enjoyed that. Wednesday we got a break since Penny had dinner with her parents but, trust me, she made up for it on Thursday. I shiver thinking of having to give pedicures to elderly men at the closest retirement home, while wearing bunny costumes. Today is Friday and I was hoping it meant the end of torture week, but I have a bad feeling about tonight.
e
I have had some bad days in my life, but this one definitely takes the cake. I lower my head and pull up the hood on Layton's hoodie and shuffle my way to Xavier and Connor's room. I can't go home to Sassy like this and, honestly, I need someone to hold me. To tell me things will get better, because after what just happened, I think it may be time for me to leave Kippa Nu. Maybe even campus all together.
I stand outside the door and gently knock, but no one answers. I lean against the wall when a wave of dizziness hits me, causing me to stumble a bit. I slide down on the floor and rest my head on my knees. My cheek hits the bone and I wince. Yeah, that's going to leave a nasty mark.
I have heard of hazing, but that was just extreme.
Xavier
I leave Hawthorne House exhausted. All the guys left for some bonding exercise but me and another pledge drew the short straws. We were tasked to clean the house from top to bottom. East said he wanted to see his face reflect back from his toilet bowl when he was taking a piss. I hope I managed to do it. My eyes are blurry from the lack of sleep I have had this week, but it will all be worth it to call myself a Hawthorne.
Hell Week wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The first night was interesting. They woke us up in the middle of the night, kidnapped us, then told us to strip to our boxers and handed us plungers. After listening to the Kippa pledges embarrass themselves, well, except Cara. That girl can sing. We had to go find some random girls and ask them to help us unclog a toilet before dawn hit. I found someone almost immediately and she was happy to help. I got lucky, her dad was a plumber. Connor struck out twice until he finally knocked on Sassy’s door and begged her. He totally cheated, but if it means he gets to join by my side I’m all for it. I enter Jhonson Hall barely able to pick my feet up to walk up the stairs. I need to sleep for like two weeks. I come around the corner to my room and freeze. Someone is sitting outside my room, crying. Her soft sobs break my heart, I move closer when I realize who it is.
“Cara? What’s wrong?” I ask when I crouch in front of her, gently touching her arm she's sitting with her knees to her chest resting her chin on top.
“Can I come in?” she asks quietly, before standing and moving to the side.
“Uh, yeah, of course.” I quickly stand, unlock the door and hold it open for her. She follows behind me and I turn the light on. “Make yourself comfortable,” I say pointing to my bedroom or Connor’s. She slips her sandals off and slides onto my bed, scooching until her back hits the headboard. Her head is down and she still won’t look me in the eye. I sit on the edge and grab her hand. I don’t know why, but this girl does something to me.
“So are you ever going to look at me?” I ask, she shakes her head and pulls her hand away, wrapping her arms tight around her midsection.
“Cara, what is going on?” A sob escapes and I move into action, gripping her by the shoulders and pulling her to my chest. She shakes trying to muffle her tears. “Did someone hurt you?” I growl, she hiccups and shakes her head. I push her away gently and press my finger under her chin lifting her head up so I can see her face.Holy fuck.
“Shit, Cara what happened?” Her left eye is swollen and her lip is puffy, she also has black marker on her forehead and cheeks. It says narrow, and baby faced.
