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“What does that mean?” he asks.
“We need to help Ben right now. It’s both our faults he’s in this position right now.”
“I can’t believe my grandma did this. Why would she?”
I huff because Xavier can’t be this stupid, right? “You honestly don’t know?”
He shrugs and makes a turn. “No. Other than she thought it would be a fun thing to brag about.”
“She did it so I wouldn’t go out with him. So I wouldn’t sleep with him tonight. She did it as a way to make sure nothing happened that neither one of us could come back from. But what she doesn’t know is that’s already happened. It happened and I didn’t speak up when I should have.”
“Clara, I thought we put that all behind us?”
He pulls into my driveway, and I unlink my hand from his. “I thought I could, but it turns out I can’t.” I get out and open the back door. “Ben, come inside, let’s get you to bed.”
He kind of sits up and slumps over.
“I got him. Go unlock the door. I’ve taken care of him plenty in this state.”
I do what Xavier says, and once we have Ben situated in the guest room and lying on his side, we both go downstairs to my kitchen.
My stomach feels light and tingly, my nerves getting the best of me. It’s time for me to say to Xavier what I know I need to, what I know is best for me. But he won’t want to hear it. Hell, I don’t want to say it but I need to get the words out.
14
“I THINK WE NEED TO REEVALUATE THIS FRIENDSHIP.”
Clara
I pull a bottle of vodka from my freezer and pour a good amount into a glass. But all it does is exactly what it’s done every time I’ve pulled it out since that night two years ago… trigger memories of the night I spent in Xavier’s bed.
We were out celebrating a win after a Thursday night game. I’d flown down to San Francisco because Xavier had asked me to be there. It was the anniversary of his mother’s death, and since the day she died, I’d vowed to be with him every year after.
In years past, we’d spend the night watching a movie, making dinner, or hanging out with his family, but that year, we were at a bar with his teammates. One bar turned to two turned to hitting up some clubs. All the men had to do was walk up to the bouncer and we were let in. The star treatment wasn’t something Xavier was always into, but I’d admit it was appealing to skip the line and have other women look at me as though I was the luckiest girl in the world.
At some point late in the evening, I took to the dance floor, dragging Xavier out by the tie he’d worn out of the stadium that night. Surprisingly it was still on, although it was loosened halfway down his chest.
Some of that night was a blur that’s come back to me in snippets. At some point, Xavier left the dance floor and Ben was there. I turned and it was his hands on my hips, my ass in front of his crotch. I finished dancing to the song because I didn’t want to be rude to one of X’s teammates. Plus, I knew Ben enough to know he was a flirt with everyone.
Afterward, I left the dance floor with the excuse that I needed a drink and found Xavier leaning against the wall, staring at me.
“Hey.” I walked up and took a sip of his drink, which was surprisingly water. “Why did you leave me?”
“I had to take a piss,” he said, anger laced through his tone. “So what, you just dance with anyone now?”
I looked over my shoulder and saw Ben had happily moved on to some redhead. “It’s Ben.” I handed his drink back to him. “What’s with you?”
Someone bumped me and I was thrust into Xavier. His arm wrapped around my waist to steady me and our eyes locked. There was something so different in the way that he looked at me in that moment. He wasn’t looking at me as if I was his best friend, but like I was a woman he desired.
“I don’t like it,” he said gruffly.
I laughed, but his fingers dug firmer into my hip. “What? Since when do you care who I dance with?”
“I guess since now.”
The breath whooshed from my lungs. I shook my head as though he was joking. “What are you even—”
“Come on.”
