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This time, they handed me a straw.
“You’re supposed to drink.”
It seemed like a lifetime until I was truly conscious.
Mom stayed until she knew I was going home. Kingpin made it clear I’d be going home with him to Royal Road. Him and Mom were getting along, for my sake. She said she was staying in Nashville for a while. I promised to answer her calls before she finally left.
“I’ll be over to check on you, darling.” She kissed my forehead.
Once we were alone, Kingpin sat close, held my hand and kissed it. I spied his fingers and noticed he wore his wedding band. It always looked odd amongst the big, sinister ones.
I touched it.
“They found it in your pocket,” he explained.
I’d kept it on me hoping he’d change his mind about us.
“Where’s mine?”
“Here,” he said, slipping a ring on my finger.
“This is a different ring.” It was an extravagant upgrade, a big, dazzling solitaire surrounded by black diamonds.
“Don’t you like it?”
“Yes,” I decided. “Although, I wanted it to be the same.”
Kingpin kissed it and my hand again.
“Your ring was lost. This ring is better. It’s beautiful like you. Dark on the outside but brilliant. You deserve it.”
Studying it, I couldn’t argue with the fact, it was gorgeous, but I said, “I wanted us back to the way we were.” Then I touched his beard.
“We won’t ever be the same. We’ll be better. You deserve that, too.”
His face was the only thing in my vision and when he smiled, the room brightened.
I couldn’t help but wonder. “Did I have to go to hell and back to win you back?”
Kingpin was confused.
“Are you here because I almost died?”
“No. I’m here because I’m an idiot. I mean. I was an idiot to treat you the way I did. I’m here because I love you. I don’t want to lose you. I wish I would’ve figured it out sooner. This was all my fault.”
I didn’t argue with him. Part of me felt like my troubles had been his fault. When I was in the cabin, I had thought about it. Abandoned by him, by the biker who claimed to love me, my husband, I suffered greatly. I didn’t know how to let go of that sentiment.
“It’s going to take me a while to feel right again.”
That was the only way I knew how to put it. On one hand, I could understand Kingpin had been under stress and under normal circumstances, I could forgive two weeks of absence from my life because he’d been angry or had damaged pride. I still didn’t feel like him ditching me, him breaking my heart wouldn’t happen again. That thought weighed heavily on me.
Furthermore, I did blame him for what happened to me in the woods even if I didn’t want to.
On the other hand, I was lucky to be alive and even luckier I hadn’t lost the baby. That gave me unspeakable joy. I didn’t feel I deserved so much luck. Not to mention, I loved Kingpin and was grateful he saved me. I was even more thankful he was letting me back in his life.
That was pitiful.
“But you’ll come home with me? Let me make things right?”
