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She scoffed. “And you didn’t think totellme?”
“I was trying toprotectyou.”
A strangled laugh escaped her. “Well, you’ve done much more than that,haven’tyou?”
“What is that supposedtomean?”
But she shook her head instead of answering. “If any of you had thought to simply ask me—you, the Home Office—I could have told you where David’s book is. But you all decided it was better to keep me in thedark.And—”
“That is not the way the Home Officeworks,love.”
“Marcus Gray, on my life, if you call me thatagain—”
“Then what?” he challenged. “Because Idolove you, Caroline, and I have never lied toyou,and—”
“No!” She shook her head. “You simply keep things from me.Andyou…”
“And I what…?” heprodded.
She slowly released a breath. “You chased me, you made me fall in love with you when you never had any intention of us ever having a future together, Marc. You are more despicable than I ever thoughtyouwere.”
As though she’d punched him in the gut, Marc winced. He didn’t, after all, care about anyone else’s opinion of him, not anyone else in the world except for her. “I never thought you’d agree to any of this,” he told her honestly. “For the longest time, you were safe to love because you were so completely unavailable.” It wasn’t the most decent answer to her charge, but it was the truth. When she’d finally relented in his pursuit of her, no one had been more surprised than him. And he hadn’t had the good sense to think things through because…well, because how could he possibly think straight when she’d invited him into her bed? He truly hadn’t thought years down the road, what that might mean for bothofthem.
Caroline turned away from him. “Luke had all of David’s things sent on to Prestwick Chase after he found his body at that inn in Northamptonshire.” Her voice cracked. “Everything is boxed up and in the attic. You’ll find the codebook there, amongst his other things that I was not prepared to gothrough.”
Marc couldn’t care less about the codebook. He only cared about her. She was all he’d ever cared about. He followed her across the room and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Caroline, I should have told you. But…” Damn it all, how was he to explain himself so she’d understand? “I have spent the majority of my life not telling anyone anything. And, you won’t believe me, I know, but I have trusted you with more than I have ever trusted anyone else inmylife.”
She glanced up at him over her shoulder. “If only that trust could make merespectable.”
Goddamn it! “Don’t you think I want to marry you? Don’t you think I want to shout to the world how much I love you? Because there’s nothing in the world I would want more than for things to be like they’ve been with all of us here these last few weeks. It’s the first time inmylife…”
When he said nothing else, she spun around to face him. “The first time inyourlife?”
“That anything has ever felt…right.”
She swiped at a tear, which made Marc’s heart ache like nothing ever hadbefore.
“Sweetheart, I could not bear it if something happened to you. If you were hurt or killed becauseofme.”
“So I should be made to suffer now on the off chance that somethingmighthappen later?” she asked. “Right now Iamin danger, Marc, and not because of you, but because ofDavid.”
And how ironicwasthat?
“No one’s future is certain,” she continued, “but only you get to decide whether you live in continual fear or whether you live life to the fullest, every moment that youdohave.”
Goddamn it, she sounded quite resigned. “Don’t leave me,” he said softly. Because if she did, he wasn’t sure how he could evergoon.
But Caroline heaved a sigh. “Thenchoose me, Marc. Choose to live, because I cannot stay otherwise.” She shook her head. “I can’t live like Callie, hidden away from the world. And I will not have our daughters think of me as your mistress. I wouldn’t want that life for any of them, and I won’t let them see me choosing that life formyself.”
Marc didn’t even realize his hand was shaking until he lifted it to brush a tear from her cheek. And in that moment of weakness he said, “I choose you, then.” And it was like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, which was the strangest sensation. “What do you want to do? Head for Scotland or send for a SpecialLicense?”
She threw her arms around him and cried against his neck, “I don’t care. Just as long as I have youforever.”
Marc held her close and breathed in that familiar lilac scent of hers for what felt like a lifetime. Dear God, he never wanted to let her go. But hedidhave to. “A Special License, then,” he said. “I’ll deliver the damn code to Whitehall, and I’ll get a license at thesametime.”
She pulled back slightly from him. “I am so happy. You have no idea how relieved I am that our child will haveaname.”
And if a battle-axe had struck him on the head, Marc would have felt less stunned. “O-our child?” he stammered. He had to havemisheardher.
