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"Becauseyouare different. It was always casual before, but this time I want it to be more." I curl my fingers around hers on my thigh. "I want everything with you."
"You know I can't give you what you want."
"I know you think you can't—or think you don't want to." I lift her hand to my lips and pepper kisses over her knuckles. "We could be happy together, I know we can. Please let yourself think about the possibility, instead of dismissing it out of hand."
Pulling in a deep breath, she exhales it slowly. "I'll consider your request."
"That's all I ask."
I set her hand on her leg and return both of mine to the steering wheel.
Peripherally, I see her gazing at me with a dreamy smile on her lips, like she's more content than ever before. She deserves happiness, and I want to be the one to give it to her if she'll let me.
But I don't know if she will, unless I can convince her to share all her secrets with me.
Chapter Twenty-One
I spend three days on the road with Calli, letting her choose the destinations because she knows this area much better than I do. I'm a tourist. She lives here. I couldn't have asked for a better, or sexier, tour guide than Calli Douglas. Every evening, we return to her house for dinner and rest.
Twice during our adventures, Seona calls to harass me about why I haven't sent her any money yet. Twice I tell her to sod off, though not in those exact words. I still can't make myself speak to a woman that way, even when the woman in question is acting like a harpy.
I know I'm at least partly to blame for her problems, but I have no money to give her. Christ, I'd borrowed money from Lachlan to pay for my holiday in America. I am bankrupt. Seona will need to find another way to get what she wants. After every brief conversation with Seona, I feel uneasy and on edge, though I try not to let Calli see it. She probably notices anyway. The lass is very clever and perceptive.
Our road trips take us to waterfalls, inland lakes, state parks, Lake Superior beaches, historic copper mines, and wee museums that celebrate the rich history of this region. Every morning before we leave the house, she spends an hour sitting at her desk in the corner of the living room, doing something on her computer. I want to know what she's doing, but I decide it's best not to question her right now.
Aye, I'm a coward who's afraid of what she might say.
During our outings, I find every secluded place where I can shag Calli. We do more than have sex, though. We laugh and explore and have a bloody good time. When we had reached the summit of Brockway Mountain on our inaugural day trip, I'd marveled at the panoramic view of the tip of the Keweenaw Peninsula. Lake Superior stretched along one side of the view, while a shuttered gift shop behind us gave the location a rather melancholy air. Still, Calli smiled as she pointed out every item of interest, from ore boats on the lake to bald eagles soaring above our heads.
Leaning against the concrete wall at the cliff's edge, I had informed her, "This view is nice, but it can't compare to seeing Loch Leven from the top of Beinn a' Bheithir."
"You're not speaking American, are you?"
I winked and grinned. "Gaelic. It's the name of a mountain near Ballachulish."
"Do you climb mountains?"
"No, I—" A memory crashed through my mind, of falling rocks and screams and jumbled limbs. I turned my face away from Calli, swallowing hard. "Not anymore."
She lifted my hand to settle my arm over her shoulders. Tucked against my body, she slipped her arms around me. "I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."
"Not your fault." I wrapped my arms around her, burrowing my face into her hair, drawing in a long breath to inhale the sweet, soothing scent of her. "Why marry a man you didn't love?"
"Why does Seona expect you to pay her off?" When I said nothing, she tilted her head up to look at me. "See, we both have secrets. I don't expect you to tell me all of yours."
"And I'd be a hypocrite if I expected you to answer my question. You're right. No more questions about your marriage." But I wanted to know so badly it made me anxious. Instead of demanding an answer, I kissed the top of her head and smiled. "Why don't we get back to our drive?"
After that, we avoided talking about our personal issues. Instead, we focused on enjoying our sightseeing tour.
On the morning after our last day of road trips, I walk out of the bathroom and into the living room, where Calli sits at her desk typing furiously on the keyboard. She's so focused on her task that her tongue pokes out between her lips in the way I've come to recognize as Calli Douglas deep in thought. She is absolutely adorable.
And of course, I want to shag her. Right now. On that desk.
Maybe I want to shag her every time I see her, but that's beside the point. Her concentration makes me want her even more. Considering how deeply she's focused on whatever she's doing on the computer, I can't resist giving her a wee surprise.
I sneak up behind her chair and bend over to place my head alongside hers. "What are you doing?"
She yelps and jerks, twisting her head around to look at me.
