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But the way they’re all tiptoeing around me like they’re expecting me to break at any moment, I doubt anyone will even consider allowing me to help.
Elijah, the big bad Mafia king who enjoys ending other people’s lives the way normal people enjoy reading a book, pulls the pillow from behind me, fluffs it back up and then carefully sits me forward and places it at the perfect angle. I should be grateful, I know that, but I haven’t seen the man I fell in love with, the one who was so obsessed with me that he stalked me for ten years and stole me away from my family, in too long, and I need him back.
“Can you stop fussing?” I snap. “I had surgery, but I’m still able to take care of myself.”
His eyes snap to mine, and he opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. To be fair, I’ve barely said a word since he tried to put me in a hospital bed they’d set up in the living room, and I cried until they finally brought me up to my bedroom. I’m done with hospital beds, and something about seeing that one set up in a space that holds so many happy memories, it set me off.
“Why haven’t you told me what the doctors said?” I push the blankets from my lap and swing my legs over the edge of the bed, ignoring the pain that shoots through my abdomen.
“Snow,” Elijah growls, placing both hands on my shoulders to stop me from moving any further. “You’re going to hurt yourself.” He forces himself to sound calm, but he’s anything but. I’ve spent enough time watching him to know the tic in his jaw and the way he tightens his hands into fists over and over again the moment they lift from my shoulders are him barely holding on to his composure, and for some reason, I want to see him break. I want to watch him lose it.
It’s like playing with fire and hoping I get burned, the words come before I have a chance to think them through. “Like it matters. Annalise is going to take us all out anyway.”
The sound that breaks from Elijah’s throat is so far from human it’s almost as if there’s a wild animal in the room. His eyes flare with anger and I know I’ve got him exactly where I need him. I just have to push a little bit more and he’ll unleash the beast I crave.
“And hey, it will save you having to dump my body in the bottom of Lake Michigan when I can’t produce an heir.”
I barely get the words out before Elijah has me flat on the bed, his hard body pressing mine into the mattress. His weight settles over me, but somehow, he manages to keep it off my incisions so the only pain that flares to life is the dull ache between my legs. It’s been too long since he’s taken me. Elijah doesn’t do gentle, not when it comes to sex, and I can’t imagine he’s going to take any chances until a doctor has signed off on it.
“What the fuck are you playing at, Snowflake?” he snaps. His hot breath whispers across my cheek and I barely withhold a groan. “Hmm? Are you trying to bait me? Do you think if you’re bratty enough, I’ll snap?”
That’s exactly what I think will happen, and has already happened to a degree, but I don’t respond, instead choosing to look up at him innocently.
“I think that’s it.” He smirks. “But you have another thing coming, little Snowflake. You can push and push and push, but I’m not going to do anything that will risk your health or safety. Now, if you wanted to know what the doctors said, you should have just asked. And if I thought it was important, I would have told you the moment you woke. You had a lot of internal bleeding, but from what Doc and the doctors said it was very straightforward to fix, and you were out in half the time as when you were shot. There was no damage to any of your reproductive organs and you’ll make a full recovery in a few weeks.”
I let out the breath I didn’t realize I’ve been holding since I woke up five days ago. The invisible presence telling me that if I can’t have children, I’m not woman enough for a man like Elijah, disappears and I can finally fill my lungs with air.
Elijah’s lips tug into a faint smile as his fingers brush down my cheek. His eyes track the movement of his hand, committing each dip in my face to memory.
“If I have to tell you every day for the rest of our lives that there will never be a time that I’ll consider leaving you, much less ending your life, I’ll do it without hesitation. One of these days, you’re going to accept that I’m going to love you for every single second we have together, and there’s nothing in this universe that will change that. If we can’t have kids, we can adopt. If you don’t want to adopt, we don’t have to have kids at all. Everett is enough of a Russo that his kids could take over the family if something happened, especially now the two families are working together. Get it out of your head that my love and obsession are conditional, because they’re not. I will be just as obsessed with you on the day I die as I was the first time I saw you. Just because we’re married now doesn’t mean I won’t still stalk you. I want to know where you are and what you’re doing for every second of every minute of every day. I don’t care if you’re walking to the damn mailbox, I’ll need to know about it, because I don’t know how to live any other way.”
I open my mouth to respond, but before I can, his mouth descends on mine, his tongue frantically seeking entrance the moment our lips touch, and I’m more than happy to oblige.
Elijah groans into my mouth, his hips thrusting into mine of their own accord. I’m not sure he’s entirely aware of the motion his body is making, but that doesn’t matter to me. I tilt my hips up, ignoring the niggling pain in the hope of some release. If I can just—
Before I can finish my thought, a knock at the door tears Elijah from my body, his eyes flashing with guilt as he calls for whoever it is to come in.
My entire body is still on fire, the need pooling between my legs is so intense I think I might explode if I don’t get some relief soon.
Rayne appears in the doorway, his eyes darting around the room once before he says, “We need you in Storm’s office, Everett found a lead.”
70
Elijah
Dragging my body from the warmth of Snow’s is impossible.
Every time I’ve thought about touching her over the last five days, and hell, even before then, I’ve stopped myself. What if I hurt her? What if she pulls a stitch? What if she doesn’t heal right because of something I do?
It’s all the what if’s that are killing me. They keep me awake long into the night from where I’ve been sleeping in the armchair beside her bed. What if we didn’t get there in time? What if Annalise stole the only thing on this earth that makes my miserable existence worth living? What if I lost her?
I help Snow sit up, carefully wrapping a robe around her shoulders and tying it above her sutures. I’ve found I like taking care of her, even if it goes against everything in my nature to do it, it feels right.
“They probably don’t want me in there,” she murmurs.
“I don’t care. I’m not ready to let you out of my sight yet, so you’re coming with me whether they like it or not.”
Before she can respond, I’m lifting her gently into my arms and strolling out of the room with her cradled against my chest. She leans into my embrace like a sleepy kitten, and something inside me that has been feral and untamed for days settles. Just having her in my arms calms the beast. I was trying to be conscious of her injuries, not wanting to push her or make her uncomfortable, but that was the worst thing I could have done for both of us. The self-doubt has been eating at her for days, and I’ve been slowly losing my mind with each day that passes.
