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I clean myself as much as possible and grab my panties from the floor, all in complete silence before he picks up his phone.
“Boss,” he says in the most neutral voice I’ve ever heard from him.
My brain starts going into overwork. He’s talking to Mateo Bianco. Regret tastes bitter on my tongue. The choking feeling of having made a huge mistake is hard to swallow.
After dating Nathan for two months, breaking up for his lies and manipulation, dating his brother, getting my heart broken, we finally had sex for the first time.
What is wrong with me?
I remember the guilt he used to feel around me, how I always associated it with our age difference. It wasn’t, it was his lies. The constant buildup of them.
I go to my purse to occupy my hands, find something to do, pretend like I’m not eavesdropping on his conversation with the man who destroyed Jake’s life and ultimately mine.
“Last time I saw him he was overseeing bets at the Death Cage.” He pauses while he listens to the other end of the line and glances at me. He runs a hand through his hair, messed by yours truly. “I’m at home.”
A finger scratching behind his ear, and I know he’s thinking seriously about his next words. “So…another one gone.” Another pause, there’s a slight frown on his face. I’m not exactly sure what or who they’re talking about, but I can see on Nathan’s face that he’s lying to Bianco. “Yeah, I’ll let you know when I leave for D.C.”
He hangs up and turns to me, but I look back into my purse. Pretending to look for something so our gazes don’t cross.
“‘Me…” But I’m not listening. Because, to my surprise, I actually found something in my bag.
“The bitch,” I whisper to myself.
Camila managed to put another one of her stupid notes in my stuff. This is the same bag I had at Luke’s party on Friday, she must have slipped it in there then.
“What’s wrong?” Nathan asks.
I keep my eyes on the note.
I said to stay away from Jake. Stupid girl.
The note is ripped away from me, and I look up at Nathan, holding it and reading it.
“Who’s that from?” He asks in a serious voice.
“Jake’s ex. Camila,” I sigh.
“But it’s not signed,” he insists, concerned.
I take the note back from him and ball it in my fist before throwing it in the bin. “Yeah, well only one person is so possessive of him that she keeps bullying me even when we’re broken up.”
“Do you want me to talk to her? She won’t bother you for long after that.”
“No,” I chuckle. “I can handle Camila Diaz, don’t worry.”
He walks to me as I finish talking and slips both his hands in my hair again. He pushes the tips of his fingers at the base of my neck, forcing me to look up at him.
“What I said is true, ‘Me. I still love you. I can’t take back what I’ve done, and I’m not about to step away from the life I live. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re the most precious thing that’s ever come into my life.”
He lowers his head, his lips hovering over mine. But when he makes that final movement to kiss me, I turn my head to the side.
His sigh of desperation hits me right in the heart. This was a mistake. I’m weak, vulnerable because I’m brokenhearted. But I can’t ignore who Nathan is, what he’s done.
Whenever I look at him for too long, images of what he did the night of my birthday flash to my mind. Jake’s beaten-up body on the floor, the slow rise and fall of his chest, and how I prayed that it wouldn’t stop. The way Nathan brutalized Rose into the change of guardianship.
Nathan might be good to me, but he is not a good person. No matter if Jake breaks my heart or not.
His lips touch my cheek as he talks. “I understand,” he simply says.
