Page 44 of Giving Up


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When did I start caring about other people? It’s seeing Jamie, it put back that stupid empathy in me.

“Not my problem,” my brother replies casually.

He’s got a cigarette dangling from his lips as he rearranges his dirty blond hair, so different from mine and Rose’s deep black one. Every time I look at him, I wonder which of our parents he got his looks from and which I and my twin got ours from. Which one had blond or black hair? Did they both have blue eyes?

“Not your problem?” I insist.

I notice Sam’s hands are now clamped on Ozy’s shoulder as if he knows she’s gonna escape to go help that girl out. She’s unpredictable like that, isn’t she?

“Is that how you rule your new kingdom,” I continue, trying to get a reaction out of him. “You invade and then let them kill each other in a civil war?”

“This ain’t my kingdom, little bro. I have much bigger things to handle and worry about.Thisis North Shore. Just another insignificant wrong side of the track. We use their services, in return we give them protection and more freedom to do what they want without legal repercussions. They want to get rid of their rivals? I say good for them.”

“She’s one girl amongst a crowd of North Shore Crew, you can’t just leave her here. It’s fucking immoral!”

My brother laughs in my face. “I don’t know at what point you started thinking I have morals. Do you think I made it this far with morals? Are you nine again? Why are you back to being so naïve, it pisses me off.”

“She’s just a girl. She’s probably my age. You’re such a fucking piece of shit,” I spit.

I shouldn’t be so angry over a girl I don’t know. But I am. Because what if she’s just like me and Ozy? What if she never wanted to be involved in that world? And here she is tonight, sent to sweeten the enemy. It could be my sister up there.

“Kay is a big girl, she knew the risks she took coming here tonight. When I offered the Kings a sweet deal, her dad and her laughed in my face. Bet the old man isn’t laughing now.”

Nate throws the bud of his cigarette to the floor and looks back up at me. “If it can make you feel better, Kay there, fucked up your girl Billie so bad she was basically dead when they found her. You know why? Over some guy Emma and Kay were fighting about at school. Billie was thirteen when it happened, Kay was seventeen. You think that was fair?”

I almost wince thinking of thirteen-year-old Billie being beaten up by a group of girls over a feud she couldn’t do anything about.

Sam shifts behind Rose and talks to the three of us. “Time to leave, before they start asking us for anything.”

“Such courage,” I mumble as the big guy starts walking through the crowd, my sister calmly in his hold. Exactly where she loves to be. People get out of his way quicker than it takes to ask them to.

“It’s not about courage, Jake. It’s about not wanting petty gangbangers to involve me in their useless feuds. Now let’s go. I won’t tell you again,” Nate says as he follows.

I shake my head in dejection and follow him. But as I get close to the door, Xi’s words stop me in my tracks. I look at where he’s standing again. He’s now right behind Kayla, an arm across her ribs and the other hand holding her jaw so he keeps her facing the crowd.

“You know,” he says in a severe voice. “If Billie wanted her revenge now, she would absolutelydestroyyou. She would fuck you up so bad, Kay.” I don’t miss Kayla’s tremble. Her whole back is shivering. “But I think tonight we’re all gonna have a go at it.”

He pushes her off the table so suddenly and harshly the girl never stood a chance to stay upright. Kayla falls off, in the crowd, landing right at the feet of Billie and Emma.

“Shit, this is too good,” Emma laughs. “It’s just perfect.”

Kayla quickly tries to get up, but Emma is already on her. The sound she makes when one of Emma’s platform heels lands in her ribs stops me from leaving the house.

You were so fucking close, Jake. This is not your fight.

The other three were already through the door but I’m not surprised to see my twin stomp back inside the house.

“This is fucking bullshit,” she fumes. Nate is close after her.

“Ozy!” he calls.

“No! You don’t want to do something about it? That’s fine, I will. Go be a big, bad guy with bigger problems.”

As soon as our sister takes one step into the crowd, he’s after her in a ‘fucking shit’ sigh.

He grabs her by the hoodie before she can completely go, pulls her back, and pushes her against me. “You two are a fucking pain in my ass, I hope you’re aware.”

He turns back to the crowd and the guys that notice him get out of his way straight away. He’s smoking another cigarette and has his bad mood face on. People don’t want to be on his shit side right now. He easily reaches Xi, pushing him to the side and talking loud enough.

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