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I almost slip on the red carpet as we leave the theater. Cole watches me stumble and laughs. I scowl at him, but he knows I’m only joking.
“Were you always this clumsy?” he laughs.
“No! Who put this stupid carpet here?” I rearrange my bag on my shoulder.
“Do you remember in elementary school when we had this show for our parents?” he reminds me. “Everyone had to dress in navy blue. I was so happy to go and sing on stage on my own, Mrs. Larban said I had the voice of an angel. I caught my feet on the blue carpet they had put on the floor and fell in front of everyone. My mom was recording the whole thing. My parents show the video every Christmas.”
I laugh as he recounts the story. “I remember.” I hit his arm, taken with the giggles at the memory of young Cole falling face-first on the stage of our posh elementary school. “Aw, Cole. How’s your singing now?”
“I will never sing, ever again. Fuck, no.”
My laugh doubles as he recounts the last time he watched the video with his parents.
I didn’t like the movie, I don’t like gangster films, but I really enjoyed spending time with Cole. We didn’t kiss, though I felt like he wanted to a few times. I still can’t cross that line. We shared popcorn and held hands and it felt good but I’m not there yet.
He’s too nice.
I try not to listen to the voice in my head, but I can’t help thinking it’s shouting the truth. Cole is nice. Too nice and I don’t get the excitement with him that I got with Jake. My stomach doesn’t twist like it did with him, my heart doesn’t jump in my chest and my mouth doesn’t get dry.
Cole’s fingers thread through mine as we head out of the theater. He grabs my hand tightly.
“I had such a good time, Jamie. I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you up and drive you here. My dad doesn’t let me drive outside of school. Strict like that.” He looks truly sorry, and I smile in return.
“Don’t worry. I’m fine taking the bus. I had a lovely time too.”
“Let me get you a taxi. Or should we both hang out at your place or something?”
“I’m spending the evening with Mom. It’s the only night she’s not working this week. And you know I’m not Stoneview’s royalty, I’m fine being on the bus.”
“Will you send my regards to Caroline, then?” he smiles.
“Sure, I will. She loves it too much when you think of her,” I giggle.
He hugs me tight, and I hug him back. I love Cole, as a friend for now. And when his lips hover over mine, my eyes are wide. That’s how I notice the white Range Rover slowly driving past us. I don’t look where it goes but it startles me, and I take a step back. Cole’s eyebrows shoot up and he takes a step back as well.
“Shit, Jamie…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
“It’s me…I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re getting over a breakup and I’m overstepping the boundaries. I’m completely out of line. I really don’t want to ruin our friendship. I don’t want to push you away.”
“You’re not. I love what we have, Cole. I just don’t want to rush things. If anything ever happens, shouldn’t it be because we’re both sure it’s a good thing? Both sure we’ll make the other happy?”
“Of course,” he confirms.
“Right this minute, I’m not sure I could make you happy as anything more than friends.”
He doesn’t seem upset by my explanation. He seems relaxed actually.
“You’re so mature, it’s unsettling,” he chuckles.
“I’m not. I’ve just been thinking about us a lot lately.”
“So have I,” he says in a last smile. “Get home safe.”
We hug each other goodbye one last time before heading our own way.
When I turn around, my eyes automatically look for the white Range Rover. It’s nowhere to be found and I might have imagined it. Or it could have been anyone’s. Not every white Range Rover belongs to Sam. I make my way to the bus stop to take the rare bus back to Stoneview.
