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There’s a silent pause as we all turn to him.
“Did you just call her Sweets?” I say as I pour milk over my cereal.
He shrugs. “Of course I did. She’s the only one that’s sweet to me. Luke, why are you not complaining about your tattoo? Don’t tell me you’ve been spared.”
“I like my tattoo,” he smiles.
“I don’t remember doing it on you.” Ozy runs her fingers through the bird’s nest that has currently replaced her hair and sits down opposite Luke.
“I think I was the last one. I don’t remember really well.”
“Show us,” I say with a mouth full of cereal.
Ella puts three eggs on a plate, her back to us. Luke gets up, turns his back to us, and lowers the gym shorts he’s wearing until his right ass cheek is showing. The Jack Daniel’s bottle is even wonkier than Chris’. The laughs he gets from all of us is short-lived when Ella turns around and scolds him.
“Will you please put your ass away?!”
She gives Chris his plate and goes back to the stove.
“Interesting spot for your first tattoo,” I chuckle.
“Why were you butt naked in front of me?” Rose laughs.
“So you could tattoo me?”
“You had sex,” Chris deadpans.
Both Luke and Ozy choke on their coffee and cereal respectively.
“I’m sorry, what?” Luke chuckles but I can see neither of them is sure of themselves.
“I mean, I wasn’t there but according to the banging on the wall I share with the bedroom you slept in and according to the state Rose was in when she walked back into my room, I’d say you did. Oh, and probably the fact that she casually mumbled ‘just slept with Luke he was better than last time’ when she fell asleep next to me. I’m pretty sure I know what I’m saying. You shouldn’t have tattooed him on his butt, look where it led.”
The silence that has fallen upon us is tense.
“What the fuck?!” Ozy shouts. “Luke, why?!”
“I didn’t do anything! You probably jumped me!”
“Why is your dick so small I can’t even feel it today,” she argues back.
“My dick isn’t small, maybe you slept around too much. You can’t feel anything down there anymore.”
“I’ll punch you,” she growls.
Still, neither of them moves from their seats, too hungover to have an actual argument.
“I can’t believe you guys had sex,” I laugh.
“Thisisn’tfunny,” Ozy rages. “I’m with Rach. I don’t cheat on Rach.”
“What can I say, they always come back.” Luke winks at my sister.
“You were hands down the worst sex of my entire life.”
“I’m guessing you’re talking about our first time since you can’t remember yesterday.”
“Can you?” she fumes.
