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What I had with Nathan doesn’t even compare. It’s strange to realize that I truly thought I was in love with him when really…it wasn’t a quarter of what I feel for Jake. Only, I know that’s not something I could tell Jake. It’s too early.
It’s late when I’m making food on FaceTime with mom, finally catching up on some of what’s going on in Tennessee and telling her about the worst customers at the café.
“Anyway,” I wave the wooden spoon in the air after explaining that Mr. Baker stopped by last week before going back to New York. “Wanna see my latest grade?”
“Is that a real question? Of course I want to.”
I leave for a second to go grab my backpack. I could tell her I got an A+ in Calculus, but I love showing her the red mark on my papers. It makes me proud to see her eyes light up every time. I unzip my backpack and throw my hand inside to fish my calculus notebook. I go back to the kitchen and open my notebook to find the sheet I had folded and put in there but the only thing that falls off is a note.
Another damn note.
How many times do you need to be warned? Stay away from him.
This is getting ridiculous. I scrunch it up and throw it in the recycling. What a bitch. I grab my grade and show it to my mom.
“Sweetie, I’m so proud of you,” she smiles as her green eyes light up on the screen. Her face is suddenly replaced by Jake’s trying to call me.
“Oh, mom, let me give you a call back.”
“Is that your boyfriend,” she winks.
“Oh Gosh, I should have never mentioned him. We’ve been seeing each other for like a week. Please don’t be like this.”
“Well as long as he’s keeping his hands to himself.”
“Right. Bye, mom. Love you.”
By the time I hang up with her I’ve missed Jake’s call and I’ve got a text from him.
Jake: Dinner with the Murrays was shorter than planned. I’m heading to Jason’s party with the guys. Let me pick you up?
I smile at his attempt to bring me to a party, but my previous ones haven’t exactly been a great experience.
Jamie: I’m going to have an early night but thanks for the invite xoxo
I try to ignore the voice inside me that is scared of him being at a party where Camila will be, and focus on the fact that he knows he cannot mess things up with me.
But it’s not only Camila. He’s got a reputation at parties.
I shake my head to chase the bad thoughts away. This is exactly why I don’t want everyone to know about us yet. I’m basically giving us time to fuck things up. I keep my distance emotionally while I see if we can do this.
A small laugh escapes my lips. Who am I kidding? I’ve been emotionally involved with this guy since his eyes landed on mine in English class on our first day of senior year. Jake White has had my heart in the palm of his hand before he even wanted it. The chemical reactions in my brain when he’s around is something neither of us can control. I’ll just have to pray he doesn’t throw what we have away at a stupid party.
Dinner in front of reality TV on my own is not the most exciting part of my day but I’m glad to get some rest and quiet. For a girl who is used to having homework as company, the last few weeks have been rather eventful.
My mind drifts back to my first time with Jake and all the other times since. This guy plays my body like an instrument he knows inside out, and I instantly feel pleasure pooling between my legs at the memories. I slip a hand under my leggings and press my index on my entrance, spreading some of my wetness and bringing it to my clit. A low moan escapes my lips as I circle my bundle of nerves. It feels good but it feels nothing like Jake touching me. I keep rubbing, using more fingers for more friction and I’m on the edge of climax when a loud knock on my front door makes me jump. I instantly pull my hand out of my leggings and check the time. No one should be knocking on my door at eleven at night.
Excited at the prospect that Jake changed his mind and decided to spend the evening here rather than at Jason’s party, I walk to the door.
I open the door full of hope, but my heart stops when I see who is standing in front of me. The same ocean eyes as Jake, the same malice in his traits, but it’s not him.
I go to slam the door, but Nathan puts his hand on it, holding it open.
“Please, I just want to talk.”
“No,” I say firmly. “You’re not coming in here again.”
He pushes his way in and slams the door behind him, making me jump.
