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“I don’t get it, how could she ever fall for Nate. He’s…” I get lost in my own thoughts looking for a word to describe the devil that is my brother. How could Jamie be attracted to him?
I guess the girl has a dark side. Not in a way that she would ever hurt someone, but she is attracted to darkness. Or she would have never been attracted to me. In her eyes, I am darkness personified, for good reasons as well. She’s not wrong, it’s who I am, and I took great pleasure in letting the golden boy mask down to show Jamie who I really was.
But now…
Well, now I regret it. Because when I thought we were starting to share something beyond our stupid games, I was actually pushing her into someone else’s arms.
“I don’t get it, man, I had her in the palm of my hands. I had her,” I insist.
Somewhere between playing with her and making her go in circles, I started to believe Jamie Williams was mine. Isn’t she? Am I the only one who felt more? Am I the only one who fell in love? I keep trying to find out exactly when it happened.
Jamie played too well into my game, she was the perfect victim. She was feisty but still fell down to her knees when the time came. So when did I stop seeing her as a little toy and start feeling shit for her?
“Are you sure she never mentioned a boyfriend?” Luke asks.
“We weren’t exactly besties, we didn’t share much, but I would know if she had mentioned my own brother.”
“You weren’t besties, but you were definitely doing things that would have pushed her to let you know if she was seeing someone.”
“I’m so confused,” I admit. “All along I thought I was in control. Turns out she’s the one who played me. She’s the one who was in charge.”
“Really, Jake? Don’t you get it?”
I grab the joint from my friend and take a long drag, shaking my head to show I don’t know what he means.
“If she had told you she had a boyfriend, you would have stopped. You would have stopped seeing her, you would have stopped running after her.”
Debatable, but that’s not the point.
“Yeah, and?” I exhale the smoke and let the THC take over my mind.
“And she didn’t want it to stop.” A smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. “You weren’t in charge. She wasn’t in charge. You both fell for each other and are in way over your heads. It’s up to you now, do you want to chase after her? Or do you want to get over her? Because if you want to be with her, you’re going to have to get over the fact that Nate and her probably had something strong.”
I let my head fall back and hit the trunk of the tree. I’m so fucking dejected, how could she hide this from me?
“I think you should chase after her,” my best friend says, ever the endless romantic. “Because however strong it was with Nate, what you have with her is obviously stronger.”
“Can we talk to Emily about it?”
“Bro…” he hesitates.
“Please. It’s my birthday,” I pout.
“Not even your birthday,” he murmurs back.
It takes a few more shots to convince Luke to let me talk to Emily about Jamie and Nate. Surely she knew something.
“In your dreams, White. She’s entitled to her privacy,” Emily says as calmly as a girl that has ingested three shots in a row can.
“Em, I thought we were friends, you and me.” I offer her my most charming smile, but she rolls her eyes at me.
I wonder if Emily ever had a thing for me. Most girls did or currently do. Emily has average features, her hair is a dark blond, her brown eyes don’t stand out in any way and her skin is porcelain that gets tainted pink when she’s embarrassed, angry or, in this case, drunk.
But it’s her body everyone is after. Despite her mom trying to erase her curves, Emily’s sporty figure never disappears. Every guy in Stoneview Prep spends a good part of their day drooling over her. She has tits most girls would kill for. My professional opinion tells me they’re a D but Luke just won’t confirm nor deny. Her legs are strong, and my best friend has told me before that being between them is the best place he’s ever been. Don’t even get me started on her ass. I know I’ve stared longer than I should many times.
She’s hot, there’s no denying it. She’s a lot sexier in the way she uses her body than Jamie. And yet…she doesn’t compare. Jamie is everything. I know most guys’ gazes don’t linger on her. She’s small, she’s fucking miniature really. She’s not too skinny but her body is proportionate to her size, meaning I can wrap my hand around her thigh and make her feel like the size of a doll. Meaning her head can land perfectly on my heart when we’re both standing. Meaning when I hug her, I could break her. She is so breakable and walking that line between breaking her and making her feel good gives my life purpose.
Emily’s voice drags me out of my thoughts. “Jamie is my best friend, Jake. I’m not going to spill out her private life to anyone who asks for it.”
