Page 26 of Giving Away


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I try to swallow the lump in my throat again and ignore my heart hammering against my chest. “A couple of months.”

He takes a step toward me and I try my hardest not to falter. “A couple of months? No. Not you, Goody. You wouldn’t do that,” he mocks me.

I know the state he’s in. He’s angry and he feels helpless. In a few months, I’ve come to understand there are two versions of Jake. The sweet one that allows himself to relax and not be on guard. The one that took me to the ball and danced with me. The guy that hugged me tight the morning after his party.

There’s also the Jake that can’t stand not being in control. That loses it when he feels his power slipping away. The one I couldn’t bring to reason at the ball, who couldn’t accept I was choosing someone else over him. The one who needs to blackmail me with something to keep me close. Sociopathic Jake. The one who doesn’t understand right from wrong. Right now, I know exactly which one I’m facing.

Nothing could have been worse than the position we were in only a few hours ago. He lost control over the situation, over himself, and he wants to regain it somehow. I’m not sure I want to be the one he uses to claim back authority over his life.

I get it, really, I do. He’s lived a life Bianco and Nate commanded. He did what he was told, paid the price if he didn’t and he’s fighting to heal from the trauma. But should I really be the one paying for that just because he decided so?

Chris is right. Jake is dark, darker than I could have possibly imagined. His past dictates his life, it makes him cruel and heartless, and I don’t think I can handle that. I might get a rush from the way he’s touched me but it’s not sustainable. I know it’s not. This is exactly why I had decided to stop whatever we had and focus on Nathan.

Fuck.

Everything always goes to shit and I’m the biggest hypocrite of them all.

“You’re such a good little angel,” Jake taunts as he closes in on me like a predator on his prey.

I should move. I should turn around, leave, and slam the door in his face. But God, I am such a willing prey when it comes to Jake White and my insides clench in anticipation.

I can’t bring myself to look at him when he reaches me, so I focus on a spot of dry blood on his jeans.

He puts his forefinger below my chin, forcing my head up to meet his gaze. He’s got that lopsided smirk that mocks me. He’s got that glint in his eyes he always gets when he’s about to play with his favorite toy.

“A good girl like you, how could you do this to him, huh? Letting me touch you and make you feel so good when you were seeing him.”

Guilt pulls at my chest because I know he’s right. I’ve let Jake play his little games when Nathan thought I wasn’t seeing anyone else. Jake is not going to let this go because this is the only thing he can hold onto right now. His perfect revenge.

His finger under my chin slowly turns into a tight hand on my jaw. He turns my head to the side in a precise movement. No violence, no rush, just control. He lowers his head to talk in my ear. His breath on my skin lights me up right away. There’s no escaping how my body reacts to him.

“Did he wonder where you were when you were with me, Angel? Did you go back to him after I made you come?” I writhe at his words. Everything is making my skin long for his touch.

I let out a shaky breath when he puts his head in the crook of my neck. He inhales deeply and his hold tightens, making me wince.

He’s going to bruise you again.

I know that voice in my head is trying to save me but maybe I don’t want to be saved. Maybe I want Jake to bruise me. To make me his. To possess me. Maybe he’s fucked me up that badly that I need this. Maybe I was already fucked up.

Jake lets out an angry growl and grips my hair with his other hand, finally letting go of my jaw. He pulls my head back so I’m looking right into his eyes and where there’s lust like I expected, there’s also something else. Anger. He is absolutely fuming.

“You stink of him,” he hisses.

I can feel my brows furrow in confusion. How does he know? He suddenly pulls at my hair and drags me to the couch until the back of my legs hit the armrest. He lets go and I fall back on the sofa. My back bounces on the soft cushions and Jake climbs on top of me.

“Is that his shirt?”

I can’t reply. I’m too focused on his body between my legs. His hand snakes around my neck and he squeezes. Hard enough to make me listen but not hard enough to hurt. The pleasure pooling between my legs makes me dizzy.

“Fuck, Jamie…you better fucking answer me, or I swear to God–”

“Yes.”

He doesn’t say anything. He just grabs the collar of the shirt and pulls down in one, hard gesture. His strong arm rips off the material and I whimper as it pulls at the back of my neck.

“Fuck you,” he growls. “Fuck you for choosing him over me. That was the biggest mistake of your life. I hope you know that.”

His free hand roams over my now bare chest. He pinches one of my nipples and I can’t help the sudden moan from escaping my lips. The perfect mix of pleasure and pain. Only Jake knows how to control my body like that.

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