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This is not how this was supposed to go. Nothing was meant to fuck up this bad. I had made my choice; I chose Nathan no matter how much I wanted Jake. I chose simplicity and safety over the dangerous need my body and mind needed. Nathan was keeping me safe. He wasn’t meant to suddenly become danger and lies.
Jake chuckles sarcastically and it slowly turns into a cold laugh. He still isn’t looking anywhere but straight at me.
“I think your boyfriend wants to come in, Goody.” His voice is lacerated with venom and poisoning me whole.
Chris runs a hand behind his neck and shakes his head. “Fuck,” he huffs.
Jake makes a beeline for the front door. “You shouldn’t have any problem dealing with him. I’m sure you were fine until now.”
“Jake–” I try, but he’s already opened the door.
On the other side, Nathan is surprised for a split second but quickly gives his brother a frozen smile. He crosses his arms on his chest as he leans against the doorframe.
“Here to the rescue, I see.” Nathan’s cold voice makes me shiver because, clearly, me and his siblings haven’t faced the same person.
???
Jake
‘Go on, run to Ozy to let her know I’m alive. But tell Jamie who I am and the girl is dead.’
That’s what he told me yesterday. I couldn’t warn Jamie that she was in bed with a psychopath, I couldn’t risk her life like that. Nate’s threats are anything but empty. So I did what he said, I spent my night trying to warn my sister. In vain.
I try to keep my head as blank as possible but seeing Nate alive and well in front of my eyes is making me dizzy. Second time in twenty-four hours and I still can’t believe my eyes. In what world is this motherfucker alive? Because it sure as hell wasn’t supposed to be this one. There was no way in hell my sister missed a shot.
She’s been trained harder than in the army. Bianco wouldn’t let her as much as eat or sleep if she missed her targets at training. Most kids had never held a gun at eleven and Ozy could already aim better than fully trained soldiers. Nate shouldn’t be standing in front of me because Rose White never missed. Or so we thought.
I spent all night trying to contact Ozy, calling, texting. Chris, Luke and I drove around Stoneview looking for her. She always disappears, does her own thing, but never in our seventeen years has she missed blowing out our candles together.
After seeing Nate, I thought something had happened to her, I didn’t sleep, I’m running on nerves and anger right now. Exactly like I used to as a kid. It helps to hide any other emotions, eventually it even makes them disappear.
“Cat got your tongue, brother?”
“Don’t call me that,” I hiss at him.
He shoulders past me and inside the house, Sam following him like the dog he is.
“I see you brought your pet along,” I say purely to rile them up.
The two are best friends, but Sam has always been in his shadow. I’ve never really known what he does for Bianco, I just always assumed he would kill to be Bianco’s right man, probably has, while that spot always belonged to Nate. And that’s because Nate knows right from wrong perfectly and always chooses wrong. He is a master at pushing others to a life of crime and he has the charm that goes with it.
My chest tightens thinking that Jamie fell for that charm. I was fuming with jealousy when she chose another guy over me. I can’t begin to describe what it feels like to learn that guy was my supposed-to-be-dead brother. Seeing him with her yesterday, her naïvely getting in his car like he was her savior…it broke something in me. I don’t just hate my brother, I hate her for falling for him.
Years away from Nate and Bianco have slowly helped me find the humanity in me. The problem with feeling shit is that it’s not always rainbows and unicorns. It’s also hatred, jealousy, longing, painful love. I need something to calm me down. My fingers clench into fists and I release. I repeat the process multiple times before I turn around.
“You need to leave,” I say as calmly as possible.
The simple fact that Nate is in the same room as me, as Rose, as Jamie, is driving me mad with anger. He’s taking my control away and for that reason only I want to bury my fist in his jaw. I know better than to do so though. Not only is he a strong bastard and he’s the one who taught me how to fight, but he also knows when to back away and is the king of revenge served cold. I might get a punch in now, but I’ll regret it later…or Ozy will and that’s the worst kind of revenge.
“Hey, Jake, you met my girlfriend Jamie, right?”
I risk a glance at Jamie as my blood starts to boil. She’s looking at me with pity in her eyes and that’s only making it worse. She has no fucking idea what she’s done and who she got involved with, how bad it is.
Chris and Luke are looking at me like they know I’m about to snap.
I won’t. I can’t do this. Not here. Not now. It’s okay, I just have to bring back old habits: stay calm, it doesn’t affect you, don’t feel anything. Rose is too focused on shooting daggers at Sam to stop me from doing anything stupid.
“You should go, Nathan,” Jamie says in a shaky voice, her eyes to the floor.
