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It was the way it was supposed to be anyway, family before everything else, right?
I opened my eyes as the doors opened, the mask firmly in place as I swept a cold glare toward her guard. “Don’t worry,” I assured him, and headed for the door. “I didn’t hurt her.”
Not that it made a fucking difference.
Baldeon’s frozen stare hovered in the back of my mind as I strode toward my building once more. Pavlov was silent beside me, saying nothing until we were in the elevator.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, staring straight ahead.
I jerked my gaze to him, tortured by my emotions. “No.”
He pressed the button for his floor, then mine. We stopped a moment later. “Night, Fin. Try and get some sleep,” he urged, and left.
The doors closed and I was alone.
Again.
A tremor coursed through me as I rode to my apartment. The darkness blurred when the doors opened and Leale was sitting there waiting for me. Any other time, I would’ve taken comfort in his presence. Any other time, I would’ve looked at him and thought of my mom.
But not this time.
This time, the floor was cracked open under my feet and the world I once had was slowly slipping away.
I didn’t even try to sleep. Instead, I strode toward the sofa facing the windows and sat. I couldn’t shake the coldness, couldn’t shake the pain. I couldn’t do anything but sit, and stare…and wait for the sun to rise once more.
* * *
I wasa ghost the next day, rising from the sofa as the sky started to brighten. I changed into sweats and made my way down to the gym. But the treadmill didn’t punish me, not like it used to. I lifted and heaved, sweating until my body trembled with the strain. Still I couldn’t shake the cold inside me, or the memory of what I’d done.
When I leaned against the elevator walls, my breaths heaving, then made my way into the apartment once more, I knew this would be my existence now. I was born anew. The brand new beast in me mewling and hungry, slowly coming awake.
The only thing still holding me back was my fucking conscience.
I showered, dressed, and drank an energy drink. The rooms were too fucking empty now, the sound of my own breath wearing me down. I needed noise. I needed warmth. I needed forgiveness for what I’d done. But I couldn’t get any of that, not from the one person I needed it from the most.
Anna…
We were beyond that now, pushed down a path that led only one way. And that way was my father taking what he wanted and not giving a shit about anyone else. I glanced at the screen on my phone, at the screenshot taken from Anna’s phone, the X on that map glaringly obvious. She was meeting someone else on the island…or leaving.
Leaving…
I closed my eyes, and deep down, I knew it was for good. Leaving me for good.
Just let her go.
The words slipped through the tiny cracks of my brand new armor, rising like a tendril of smoke. Let her go? I lifted my head to the dark clouds gathering on the horizon. The fight inside was torture.
I turned and went downstairs, stepping out of the elevator at the lower apartment.
“Hey, you good?” Max greeted me, draining the last of his coffee before rinsing his mug.
“Yeah.” I met my bodyguard’s gaze.
He froze, his dark eyes growing even darker. “Fin,” he started. “Everything okay, you look—”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I answered as Pavlov strode from his bedroom, dressed in a crisp black shirt and pressed black trousers. He slipped on his shoulder holster, adjusted the strap, and tugged on his jacket.
We made our way down to the foyer and out of the building. The weather had turned sometime during the night. Gone were the bright, glaring sun and clear blue sky. Now the wind was howling and vengeful.
