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Chapter 12
HUNTER
Tryingtodrivesafely while also getting home as fast as humanly possible is a difficult task. One I don’t do well. Traffic, thankfully, isn’t that bad, but the snow hasn’t let up since I left this afternoon, making me have to drive slower than I want to. And the entire way home, I berate myself for not being there for Rachel in her time of need. I knew this was going to happen. Her c-section appointment was scheduled for November 29th, so I shouldn’t feel this guilty. But I do. Especially since Alex and Lucas weren’t there for her. Sure, Seth was at her side, holding her hand, but given how he freaked out not that long ago about her pregnancy, I doubt he was all that helpful.
But at least he was there.
I inhale deeply and push that thought away, knowing if I think any more on it I will feel that need to drink. It’s been too long since my last therapy appointment. I should schedule one before the ski trip begins, just to talk out all my worries about being a new father to a child that may or may not be mine.
Not a child. A little girl. Maria.
What if I don’t like her?
No, worse—what if she doesn’t like me?
I groan and shake my head. Already, being a father is turning out to be tough work. If only I could talk to my own father about this kind of stuff. However, if he were to find out about my relationship with Rachel and the bros, I doubt he would be able to discuss fatherhood. Instead, he would probably have a million questions revolving around how I got into this type of relationship and why I am sticking with it. None of which I want to answer, nor am I ready to answer. I guess asking for parental advice will have to wait.
My anxiety only increases when I find myself pulling into the driveway and turning off the engine. I sit there, my hands on the wheel, staring at the house, wondering what the hell I’m doing. I should go inside and offer whatever assistance they need. Rachel has been home from the hospital at least three days and I doubt they have gotten much sleep, especially with Alex being gone. Although, three is better than two, and even though I’m home only for the next two weeks, I’m sure they will appreciate another spare set of hands.
I should go.
But what if Maria doesn’t like me? What if I drop her? What if I fuck everything up? Get. Out. Of. The. Car. Hunter.
I throw open the door and slam it shut before stalking toward the house, my steps turning into a run. I don’t know why I’m running. Probably to keep myself from returning to the car? Quickly, I unlock the door and rush inside, expecting to find everyone in the living room, only to find the house cast in darkness. Everything is so silent. I expected to hear some crying, or maybe Rachel singing while rocking Maria to sleep. The silence seems louder, and I can’t stop myself from worrying that something must have happened.
Did Rachel need to be rushed back to the hospital? But…Lucas told me that Rachel is home and everything is fine. That was just yesterday. But a lot can happen in twenty-four hours.
“Hello?” I call.
Silence is my answer.
I grit my teeth and slowly walk up the stairs, moving quietly just in case Maria is here and sleeping. “Hello?” I call, a little louder this time.
When I make it to the landing, I see the light is still on in Rachel’s room. I pad toward it, grimacing at every creak my feet make on the boards. Being quiet is not my strength. It’s going to be difficult not to crash into anything or wake up the baby.
I press the door open, and feel a smile taking hold as I find Rachel sandwiched between Seth and Lucas, sleeping soundly. Seth is in his boxers and a black t-shirt with matching black socks, looking kinda silly. He has his arm draped over Rachel’s waist, which is covered in a giant brown sweater. She’s wearing leggings in bed rather than her usual cute pajamas. I watch her nuzzle Lucas’s shoulder, who is dressed in a sweater and jeans.
My gaze slides to the crib resting near the bed, away from the window. I pad as quietly as possible toward it, my smile widening when I find little Maria sleeping soundly. She’s bundled in a teddy bear blanket, looking so cute and warm. I brace my hands on her crib, tempted to touch her chunky cheeks, but knowing I shouldn’t. They probably all went to bed an hour ago, despite it only being six in the evening. I guess this is our new life—sleeping in the early afternoon and waking up at the crack of dawn.
Surprisingly, I’m not freaking out right now. I actually feel quite fine. I’m sure I will feel quite differently tomorrow when the real work begins. However, it’s hard to think I ever worried about not liking Maria. She’s absolutely adorable. Now let’s hope she likes me. That will be the real test.
“Hunter?” I hear Rachel groan.
I glance over my shoulder, finding Rachel rubbing her eyes as she squints at me.
“Is that you?” she whispers while lifting herself out of bed.
“Yes, it’s me.” Guilt twists my heart as I take in the dark circles under her eyes and the way she hobbles toward me as if she’s in pain. “You should go back to bed.”
Rachel shakes her head. “No. I missed you.”
My whole body melts into her as she wraps her arms around me. “I missed you too,” I murmur in her ear. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”
Rachel presses her lips to my neck, making shivers ripple through me. “It’s fine. Seth was there.”
“Exactly,” I say with a soft chuckle.
Rachel pushes me away and my breath hitches as I gaze into those beautiful green eyes. “He was actually a good helper,” Rachel says with a soft smile. “You would be proud.”
