Page 86 of Finding Hope


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Stop it, for God’s sake! Think about what you shared with him today. He’s just being friendly with her.

But the familiar sensations started to creep back in, the ones she’d fought so hard to overcome—the dread, the insecurity, the fear. This is your boat—you have every right to be here!

But the old voices were back in force now.

No, you don’t know anything about this. Why are you even here? You don’t belong.

Clutching her cover-up tighter, Hope kept moving back to avoid the crush and soon found herself next to the dock. It was a simple matter to hop off the boat onto the wooden planking, where she stood trying to regain her confidence. She looked at Alex, surrounded by people, laughing and relaxed as he demonstrated every feature of the boat.

You really think he’s still interested in you? He already got what he wanted.

She clenched her fists, reminding herself of his assurance that he’d come up to the house. You thought he’d actually keep his word?

With a deep sigh, Hope turned and walked up the pier.

She made a determined effort to silence her inner demons by being productive. Hope stopped at the kitchen, picking up two sandwiches, some chips, and a prepared salad for dinner.

It didn’t last.

She walked down the beach to her house, feet leaden now. Shoving the food in the refrigerator, she slammed the door and whirled around, leaning her arms against the island counter as acid burned a hole in her stomach as she fought back tears.

“He said he would come. Give him time.”

She hated how shaky her voice was.

Hope turned around and took a large glass out of the cabinet, filling it with tap water. She drank it in one shot, then went out on the porch and stood at the wooden railing, gazing at the pier and feeling empty inside. She could imagine Alex enjoying himself as the women gave him appraising glances. Hope banged her hand into the railing so she could feel the pain.

With a frustrated groan, she went back inside, aimlessly straightening her living room. Trying to fill the time, she cleaned the kitchen counters next. She looked at the wall clock. It had been well over an hour.

They probably invited him to have a beer at the bar. You’re the last thing he’s thinking about. Hope shut her eyes, then she raked both hands through her hair, only to get them caught in the thick, tangled strands.

That’s what I need!

She spun around and marched toward her bedroom, entering the bathroom and turning on the shower. Undressing, she inspected herself in the mirror. She looked the same, but now everything was different.

Or was it?

Hope stood under the showerhead, hands leaning against the wall on either side of the handle as she let the hot water wash over her, her fingers white against the wall from the pressure she was exerting.

You know he’s going to break your heart. You never should have let him in this deeply. He’s not coming.

She tried to force the thoughts out and concentrated on calming herself. Eventually, she stood straight and wrapped her arms around herself, still fighting back tears as the steaming water poured over her head. Eyes closed, her fingers parted her hair, trying to separate it into more manageable sections before shampooing.

Then a second pair of hands were in her hair, stroking it and gently squeezing the water out. He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her back to him as she choked back a sob, relief washing over her.

“Where did you go?” Alex murmured in her ear. “I didn’t think they’d ever let me out of there. Then I looked around for you, but you were gone.”

“I . . . I didn’t feel like I belonged,” Hope nearly whispered. “There were too many people, and I wanted to be alone with you.” And quietest of all, “I didn’t think you’d come to me.”

“Hope, nothing could keep me away from you, not after today.” Alex turned her around, looking at her sharply. “And you always belong with me.”

Tilting her face up, he brushed his lips against hers tenderly, as if she were a porcelain doll that might shatter any moment. “Are you ok?”

“Will you wash my hair?”

“Of course.” He poured the shampoo into his hand and rubbed it into a frothy halo around her head. Then he walked her back under the stream of water to gently rinse it off, enfolding her in his arms after.

After enjoying his closeness for a few moments, she said, “Now the conditioner.”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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