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She continued walking along the beach, conversation and laughter emanating from the restaurant, but feeling apart from all of it, numb now. The beach loungers were all stacked up for the night, and she stopped to pull one off and dragged it toward the shore. She adjusted the back to an upright position and sat down with a sigh to watch the moon.
Hope wrapped her hoodie tighter around her, feeling the deep emotions start to rise and taking deep breaths to calm herself, determined to overcome the whole experience. Like a magnet, she was drawn to the lights in Alex’s apartment. Knowing he was up there right then, sensations of warmth and relaxation washed over her at last.
Closing her eyes, she slept.
CHAPTER 24
Hope awoke the next morning with a terrible, gnawing kink in her neck from sleeping upright in the lounger.
“Oh God. Ouch. Oh, hell.”
“Did you sleep there all night?” Alex walked up the beach toward her.
Surprised, she darted her eyes to him, causing her neck to spasm again. “Ow—goddammit! Yes, apparently. Though I didn’t mean to.” She rolled her neck, and it began to loosen up. Pale pink streaked the sky to the east and a soft light grew around them.
“I woke up early and was heading into the dive shop when I noticed someone in the chair, so I came over to make sure everything was ok.” He stopped in front of her. “Is everything ok?”
“Except for my broken neck, yes.” She was still rubbing it.
“I can come back later if you’d prefer. When you’re not cussing at me.”
He was smiling, and she couldn’t help but return it. “I can’t believe I slept all night like this.”
“I can. You must have been exhausted after yesterday.”
That brought it all back, and she turned to sit sideways on the lounger. “I’m sorry I bolted off the boat when we returned to the dock—that wasn’t fair to you. I needed some time alone.”
Alex sat down next to her and pressed his leg against hers. Her stomach tightened, and she shifted her eyes to him, but there was no sign of teasing or flirting. He was simply offering comfort. Hope relaxed and leaned against him as Alex put his arm around her shoulders.
“Don’t apologize,” he said. “Sometimes I need to go off by myself too. And I meant what I said yesterday—you did great down there.”
A warm light spread inside her at his closeness. “Thank you. I’m determined not to let this beat me.”
“No one would expect you to get over something like that in a day, but I’ve got an idea. There’s an afternoon trip scheduled for today, but why don’t we dive the house reef here tomorrow afternoon? Just you and me. You had a great time when we dove it on your check-out.”
Hope drank in his face. His morning stubble was much darker than the hair on his head. She focused on his chin—there was gray mixed in, too. Alex wasn’t some boy pretending to be a man. He was so different. “I’d like that.”
“Good. I’ll keep you safe.” He pressed his leg tighter against hers. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
Their eyes locked and held, and Hope became aware of everywhere their bodies touched, even more so than when they were on the boat yesterday. She dropped her gaze to his mouth. His lips were full and slightly parted as he moved them toward her. Time seemed to slow as she leaned toward him, their lips only inches apart. He’d closed his eyes, his breathing much deeper.
Then it was as if someone poured ice-cold water over her head. How incredibly different it was this time with this man. Yesterday, they’d shared an experience like very few others and come out the far side. Together. A roaring sound thrummed in her ears as her heart pounded and she wrenched herself back, standing on shaky legs.
“No! I can’t do this, Alex. I’m sorry!” She turned and started running back to her house.
“Hope! Don’t go.”
Tears flowed as she ran. How could she tell him he hadn’t done anything wrong? That he’d been everything she’d ever wanted since she met him? Which completely terrified her. The depth of emotion that came over her as they nearly kissed had rattled her to the core.
Everything could come crashing down.
She couldn’t face it. Alex was a very different man, but it was too big of a risk—for herself and for everything she’d fought so hard to accomplish in her new life.
* * *
Alex set both BCDs down on the steps of the pier, inspecting everything to ensure all was ready for his dive with Hope. Yesterday morning had shaken him badly. He hadn’t meant to lean in to kiss her—it’d just happened. She stared at him with those big golden eyes and he couldn’t stop himself. And he felt terrible about it.
