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Then it was over and all that was left was the sound of harsh breathing and the realization that she was naked with her behind in the air.
Fourteen
The mountain was out when Rob's flight landed at SEA-TAC. He rented a Lexus and called Louisa on his cell to let her know he was on his way to pick up Amelia. He tuned in a radio station and headed for Interstate 5.
He slid his Maui Jims on the bridge of his nose and adjusted the sun visor. The polarized lenses cut the glare of the morning sun, and Rob merged onto the interstate, only to get stuck in stop-and-go traffic headed into Seattle. He hadn't slept a whole lot the night before, and he'd downed a boatload of coffee on the flight. His brain was fuzzy, but he could recall with absolute clarity how the light in the grocery store had cut across Kate's naked breasts. Her breasts were firm and white with small pink nipples balanced perfectly in the center, like tight raspberries. He remembered how hard they'd been against his palms and tongue, and they'd tasted so good covered in whipped cream that he'd gone back for a second helping.
He recalled every detail of the night before. The touch of her soft skin beneath his hands and his struggle for control. He'd wanted to go slow, draw out the pleasure, while at the same time, he'd fought a battle within himself to just throw her down and get on with it.
In the end, he'd lost the fight. He'd grabbed her up, pushed her to the floor, and gone for it. He'd come so hard that he'd thought he was going to black out, but even as he'd felt every ripple and pulse of her orgasm, he'd known she deserved more from him. More than a quick one on the floor.
Rob flipped on his blinker and eased the Lexus in between a delivery van and a silver Canary. Pushing Kate to the floor hadn't been one of his better moves, but it might have been forgivable if he hadn't followed it by a bigger mistake. One that had kept him up last night feeding himself his own lunch. One that he wished he didn't recall with the same clarity with which he recalled everything else about the previous evening.
Without saying much more than a mumbled "I'll be right back," he'd gathered up his clothes and made his way to the bathroom. He'd dressed, and as he'd stood in front of the toilet, watching the condom swirl around and get sucked down the bowl, he'd freaked. Not because of the usual past issues, like what lie he was going to tell or how to get out of the room without a scene. No, he'd freaked because there had been a point in the evening when he hadn't given a damn about anything but getting Kate naked. It wasn't that he'd forgotten his past mistakes or the trouble it had caused. It was more that Kate made him not care. While he'd been with her, eating whipped cream from her breasts and thrusting deep inside where she was slick and tight around his cock, he hadn't given a damn. He'd wanted Kate, and nothing else had mattered. But after the fever had passed, his disregard for the consequences had freaked him out and he'd run like hell. But not before he'd kissed her on the forehead and committed the most spectacular fuck-up of the night.
He'd looked into her brown eyes and told her "thanks" like she'd just passed him the salt. Then he'd bolted out the back door.
Rob glanced at his watch and turned off the freeway at the Denny exit. It was ten o'clock in Gospel. If he called the M &S, he could catch Kate and try to explain or apologize or something. He reached for the cell phone hooked to his belt but returned his hand to the wheel. He'd deal with that problem when he got home-in person. Hell, maybe he hadn't even messed up. Maybe she wasn't all that upset. Maybe he'd imagined the look on her face when he'd told her thanks and kissed her head.
Right now, he had another problem to face. One that was very real.
He found a parking spot a few blocks from Louisa's condo, and by the time he knocked on her door, he'd pushed Kate to the back of his head. A problem he would deal with later.
Louisa's blonde hair was pulled back in a pony-tail, and she was dressed as if she were about to go out for a jog in tight black spandex. She was fit and toned and could probably crack a walnut on her ass. She hugged him and kissed his jaw, and he felt nothing. No stirring interest in the pit of his stomach. No desire to turn h
is face and kiss her lips. No pinch in his chest or tug at his heart. Nothing.
He found Amelia sitting in her highchair in the kitchen eating dry Cheerios on her tray. She held up her arms for him and said through a bright smile, "Daddy's here."
At the sight of his child his heart lifted in his chest. "Hey, baby girl." He nibbled a Cheerio stuck on her finger, and then he nibbled her neck. She laughed and shrieked and pulled his hair. "Ready to go?"
"What are you two doing today?" Louisa asked from the doorway.
"I'm not sure." He took Amelia from the chair. "Maybe we'll go see if the guys are in town," he said, referring to his old Chinook teammates. "Maybe we'll go skate, or if the sun stays out, get a kite and go to the park."
"I thought we could all go to the zoo tomorrow. She really likes the pygmy marmosets."
Rob looked over the top of Amelia's dark head at his former wife. He didn't love her and knew he would never love her again. He would have to tell her, but not now. Not while he held his daughter in his arms. "Sounds good."
Louisa smiled. "I'll pick you and Amelia up around noon tomorrow then."
Before he left town he knew she'd want to talk about getting back together, and he wasn't looking forward to the conversation. Maybe he'd invite her over to his loft in a few days, after he figured out exactly what he wanted to say. While Amelia napped, he'd make her see that a reconciliation wouldn't work. He'd figure out some way of telling her that he didn't love her without making her angry or hurting her feelings. Hell, he wasn't convinced she still loved him. More than likely, she was just falling back into the same old pattern of their past.
The next day Louisa showed up at the loft right on time. The weather held as they walked about the Woodland zoo, looking at water buffalo and tomato frogs. When Amelia fell asleep in her stroller at the coastal desert exhibit, she brought up the subject of getting back together. "Have you given any more thought to what we talked about on the phone the other night?"
He really didn't want to talk about it in public.
"I don't think this is the place to talk about it."
"I do." She looked up at him and shoved her hair behind her ears, revealing the three carat diamond earrings he'd given her the day she'd given birth to Amelia. "The answer is easy, Rob. Either you've thought about it or you haven't. Either you want to be a family with me and Amelia or you don't."
It was so typical of Louisa to push until she irritated him. Leaving him no choice, he said, "Yeah, I've thought about it. Amelia is the most important thing in my life. I love her and I would do anything for her." He could tell Louisa a kind lie, but the problem was, he didn't know any kind lies. "The thing is, I don't love you the way a man should love a woman he is thinking about living with. If we got back together, it would end as badly as it did last time."
Her brows drew together and he saw the hurt in her eyes before she turned to look at the penguins diving off rocks into the water. She started to cry, and he felt like an asshole. People walking by looked at him like he was an asshole, too, but he hadn't known what else to say. And now she was crying right in front of him and everyone else in the coastal desert exhibit. "I'm sorry."
"I guess I'd rather you told me the truth." She brushed her fingertips beneath her eyes, and her shoulders shook. Rob didn't know if he should hold her or stand back. He never knew what to do with a crying woman. Guilt churned in his stomach, and he tightened his grasp on the stroller's handle.
"Could you get me a tissue?" she asked between sobs.
