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“Of course not. You’ve always gotten along wonderfully with my dad, and he really thinks highly of you. I’m sure you’ll be a great help to the company,” I said.
“Not as good as you. Truth be told, I don’t think he’s ever gotten over you leaving,” Todd said.
So much for not raising touchy subjects.
But I waved a hand dismissively. “I’m sure he has.”
I smiled, my face starting to hurt from keeping the expression in place.
The waiter returned with our drinks, and I took a sip.
“I didn’t think I would, either,” Todd whispered a few moments later.
I looked up at him and saw the emotion in his eyes. Saw the hurt that I was responsible for putting there. Back then, I’d so badly wanted to explain why I had to leave, but fear had stilled my tongue. Now, I didn’t even know where to begin. “Todd…”
He shook his head, then smiled. “Kayla, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” he said.
I took another sip of my “lemon spritzer,” which tasted shockingly like lemonade, trying to do something, anything, to push away thoughts of the past I hadn’t come to terms with and a future I had wanted so deeply.
“Todd, I…”
He shook his head, then smiled. “I shouldn’t have said anything. But there has to be a reason I saw you here, and I didn’t want to miss the chance,” he said.
“Okay,” I responded for lack of anything else to say.
I waited, and Todd didn’t speak immediately.
But that was okay. Even after all that it happened between us, there was an ease of familiarity that the years of friendship, and then more, that had passed between us had developed.
I had hurt him, badly, but I hadn’t had a choice.
I’d had to protect the people closest to me, and he had been one of them.
That lies were the method I’d used shouldn’t matter.
What mattered was that the darkness that had tainted my family didn’t taint Todd.
Still, in that moment, I couldn’t help but think about how things could have been different and think about the life that Todd and I could have had.
I’d had it all mapped out.
We’d finished school, get married. Have three kids. Two boys and one girl. A dog, miniature poodle or shih tzu. I’d let him decide.
It would have been perfect.
I looked at Todd and saw the patience, the hopefulness in his expression.
Blinked.
It could have been perfect.
Because no matter what I’d dreamed of and hoped for back then, that girl was gone, and so was the life she’d imagined.
But maybe I could still find something for the woman I was now.
I smiled at Todd, and he smiled back, his face more mature but still handsome.
Unbidden, an image of Elias, his perpetual scowl, his dark eyes, which alternated between soullessness and fire, filled my mind.
