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A nervous lump wedged in the center of my throat, and I couldn’t swallow it down.
“I mean no disrespect,” I spoke carefully, “not to you, not even to your husband, but I can’t offer anything; and I don’t want to be his wife or anyone else’s, and I don’t—”
“Den ya need to listen to me,” the woman cut in, and my lips snapped shut.
She stepped closer. “Dey’re not going to put ya anywhere else udder’dan wit a husband—whether it’s wit mine or some udder man in this city—or make ya a whore.” She cocked her head to one side, studying me with a scrutinizing gaze. “Dey’d never put ya wit de soldiers—don’t look like ya could beat a dog off ya leg.” She paused. “What are ya good at?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, is ‘dere a trade you’re ‘specially good at dat might be useful? Maybe ya could be a worker—but to be honest, ya probably wouldn’t want to go through what’d have to happen for dem to put ya in someplace like dat.”
“What would have to happen?” That nervous lump in my throat swelled.
The woman paused as if contemplating the best way to say it. “Well dat pretty face would have to go, for starters.”
The lump suddenly grew so big, so fast, that it was choking me.
I dropped my hands to my sides and took a small step backward, my eyes wide, my stomach as hard and heavy as an iron weight.
“Look,” the woman said with a sigh, “de least painful way out of dis is to start spreading ya legs, sweetheart. My husband, and Overlord Wolf, not even de most repulsive man in Wolf’s army wants a whore as a wife.” She glanced at the open door and then looked back at me, lowered her voice and said, “Ya could start wit Atticus Hunt. Here ya are”—she waved a hand about the room—“wit de perfect opportunity, sleeping in his room and spending ya days ‘ere. Even if ya don’t do it, people’ll talk, so ya might as well make de rumors true and buy a ticket out of a marriage while ya can.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of her advice, unsure even if it was advice, or something else.
“That’s not me,” I finally said, crossing my arms and shaking my head. “I can’t just do that. I can’t flip a switch like Petra did and become someone I’m not.”
“What else do ya plan to do den?”
“I don’t know.”
The woman tilted her head, looking at me with a strange sort of concern I felt was misplaced—it didn’t feel like concern, just looked like it.
“I’ll help ya,” she said. “If ya really want out of dis city, I’ll help ya if ya swear to tell no one.”
My eyes shot up to meet hers. Could it be true? Hope filled me again. All the time I had been trying to find a way out with my sister, I thought I would be forced to do it alone because no man here would ever help us. But I never thought to ask the women for help. They were probably just like me when they first came here: forced into a life not of their choosing; they would have more reason to help me than anyone else would.
I stepped forward, eager and hopeful.
“You’ll help me?” I said with desperation.
The woman nodded slowly. “Yeah. I’ll try, but ya have to gimmie a few days. Tell no one we spoke ‘bout dis. I’ll come to ya when I’m ready.”
I nodded; my hands sweated; my heart pounded feverishly in my ears.
The woman started for the door.
“Wait.” I stepped up behind her. “What about my sister? Her name is Sosie. She has blonde hair; she’s about my height. And she’s blind. They took her to the brothel.”
The woman chewed pensively on the inside of her cheek.
“I’ll see what I can do,” she said, and stepped out into the hall.
“But I can’t leave without her,” I said at the door. “If you can’t find me a way out of here that includes my sister, then I won’t go—please find her.”
The woman nodded once and then scurried down the hallway. I closed the door and locked myself inside the Overseer’s room.
I had been hungry before, but now that my mind was racing with the possibility of escape, I barely picked at the eggs and fried potatoes with my fork as I stared off at the wall. I was too excited to eat. And nervous. I was more nervous than anything because I knew that even with someone’s help, it would not be easy.
I spent the next few hours locked inside the room alone with only my thoughts and a half-eaten plate, until the lock on the door rattling against the wood frame woke me from a haze.
